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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    622

    SADDAM MAKES DEAL FOR WMDs STASHED IN SYRIA

    The bizarre tale of an erstwhile relationship between Saddam Hussein and former pop superstar, Elvis Presley, is now being divulged for the first time in the pages of a soon to be released tell all book by Dr. Fullah Sheetite, former pharmacist and close confidant of Mr. Presley.

    The disturbing story, as told by Dr. Sheetite, reveals, for the first time, secret details of Saddam's furtive program to hide his notorious Weapons Of Mass Destruction from UNSCOM-IAEA inspectors and US forces by placing them in Presley's care just prior to the US invasion of Iraq in March 2003.

    Presley, who was residing in Syria at the time, had been living as a recluse there under the protection of the late strongman, President Hafez Assad, since going into exile in the summer of 1978 by using the pretense of being deceased from a self induced drug and pineapple cheese pizza overdose.

    Today, more details of the bizarre Elvis-Saddam-WMD conspiracy were unveiled by the former Iraqi dictator himself. Patriotic investigative journalists from FUX "NEWS" (who shall remain nameless to protect their sources) have learned that Hussein has negotiated a deal with prosecutors at his murder trial in Baghdad as recently as last Monday.

    Saddam has agreed to lead investigators to the site where Elvis Presley secreted Saddam's many stockpiles of bio-chemical and nuclear weapons.

    However, in exchange for debriefing prosecutors, it is being reported that Saddam's demands include being scheduled for an exclusive performance on the popular FUX television show, "American Idol".

    The breakthrough came when Saddam's interrogators made a startling and hitherto unsuspected discovery - the former torturer, murderer and all-round naughty boy is an enthusiastic amateur singer! This, of course, makes the much-awaited headline "Saddam Sings" all the more appropriate.

    Apparently, during his long but discrete relationship with Elvis, Saddam was regularly tutored in the art of Rock and Roll performance techniques by the declining pop superstar. Frustrated by years of UN sanctions, it seems that Saddam has harbored a burning desire to perform his own personal repertoire for The World.

    "We were amazed!" Lt-Col Jerkendoff of the US Marine Corps admitted yesterday. "He can sing! I'm telling you, that guy can hold a tune. There we were, giving him a friendly working-over, when all of a sudden he jumps up on the table and rips into a chorus of 'O-o-out in Baghdad, where the wind comes whippin' off the plains.' We just had to applaud, you know? Then he thanks us for being such a wonderful audience, stands upright and goes into one our all time favorites"

    "Hey Hey Were The Sunis"

    "Hey-hey, We’re the Sunis ..
    We love to kill and torture all day
    And we’ve got “nukular” weapons
    Don’t listen to David Kay-y-y…"

    "It’s no time to be friendly
    Or listen to Cheney and Rice
    Cause we ain’t too busy singin’
    To plant an explosive device. yeah"

    "Hey-hey We’re The Sunis
    Better listen good to our words
    People might think that we’re loonies
    But we still like gassin’ the Kurds"

    "We just wanna get crazy ..
    And have our own the-o-cra-cy
    Ya better not think that we’re lazy
    Gonna do it with a de-mo-cra-cy…yeah"

    Speechless, the reporters staggered off to file this urgent story - via the nearest pub.

    O. Riley Limpbaugh - (c) 2006 World Wing Nut Daily
    Last edited by dante; 01-28-2006 at 04:25 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    2,272

    Re: SADDAM MAKES DEAL FOR WMDs STASHED IN SYRIA

    I always thought good old Saddam had it in 'em.
    But can he dance?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    1,221

    Re: SADDAM MAKES DEAL FOR WMDs STASHED IN SYRIA

    Rumors have it that Bush is going to announce at the State of the Union address that the US government has inked a deal with CBS that will virtually create a balanced budget in 2006. Saddam is supposedly going to be led into the stadium during halftime at the Super Bowl, shackled like King Kong, while Elvis Presley makes a surprise appearance and sings a raucous rendition of Jailhouse Rock. Reports have it that Saddam will break the shackles and join Elvis on stage for a duet of "Devil in Disquise" and finally the show will end with a tribute to New Orleans as musicians and survivors from the 9th ward floods join the two men on stage for a special performance of "In the Ghetto". CBS is said to be paying $337 billion dollars for the halftime show which is expected to create the biggest audience in SuperBowl history.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    622

    Re: SADDAM MAKES DEAL FOR WMDs STASHED IN SYRIA

    Quote Originally Posted by bairdi
    Rumors have it that Bush is going to announce at the State of the Union address that the US government has inked a deal with CBS that will virtually create a balanced budget in 2006. Saddam is supposedly going to be led into the stadium during halftime at the Super Bowl, shackled like King Kong, while Elvis Presley makes a surprise appearance and sings a raucous rendition of Jailhouse Rock. Reports have it that Saddam will break the shackles and join Elvis on stage for a duet of "Devil in Disquise" and finally the show will end with a tribute to New Orleans as musicians and survivors from the 9th ward floods join the two men on stage for a special performance of "In the Ghetto". CBS is said to be paying $337 billion dollars for the halftime show which is expected to create the biggest audience in SuperBowl history.

    Hmmm. The only question remaining then is why Fox didn't get the rights to it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    622

    Re: SADDAM MAKES DEAL FOR WMDs STASHED IN SYRIA

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