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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    633

    Brain Cramps....Humor at the expense of others.

    (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
    live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
    then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
    which is why I would not live forever,"
    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


    ``````````````````````````````````


    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
    to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
    death and stuff."
    --Mariah Carey

    ````````````

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
    important part of your life,"
    --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
    Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

    `````````````````````````````````````````````


    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
    lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

    `````````````````````````````



    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
    our papers. We are the president." (we are????)
    --Hillary Clinton
    commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

    `````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
    by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
    --A congressional candidate in Texas.

    ````````````````````````````

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

    ``````````````````````````````````

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
    the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    --Al Gore, Vice President

    (DUH ! and he wanted to be President!!!!!!!!!)

    ```````````````````

    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
    --Dan Quayle

    does he know where he almost grew up???.....

    ````````

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
    clean air do we need?"
    --Lee Iacocca


    (I say all we can get, I'll take his clean air)
    ```````````

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
    certain types of people."
    --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

    (Oh, well that's different, I think??????)

    ````````````````````````````````

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
    --Bill Clinton, President

    (really???????)

    ``````````````````
    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that
    may or may not occur."
    --Al Gore, VP

    (Gee but he's smart)

    ````````````````

    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
    from overseas."
    --Keppel Enderbery

    ````````````````

    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective
    March 1992 because we received notice that
    you passed away. May God bless you. You may
    reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
    --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

    ```````````````````````````````````````````


    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
    in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
    heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
    they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
    --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

  2. #2
    war_man's Avatar
    war_man is offline the gatekeeper of honesty and integrity in self
    Join Date
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    Re: Brain Cramps....Humor at the expense of others.

    Thats good stuff RequlationE, Im still laughing at some of it.. The Mariah Carey one is rather disturbing though, And Brooke sheilds what a dunce. What a tangled Web some of these people wove with their own tongue.. Very funny though RegE, thanks I rather enjoyed the laugh.
    war_on_scam

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