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  1. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Aspartame Island


    I was sexually abused as well, by my mother's uncle. I apparently went through 3 years of therapy and counselling which I have little recollection. I only remember some of the sessions prior to the court case. Explaining the details of what happened etc... but the rest is all a blank. I remember the abuse, but I don't feel the need to go kill the uncle or anything. Cancer is doing a good job of that I guess. All he got for jail time was 6 months. Once this happened, the whole family was divided. My mother from that day on, no longer associated with a lot of them. They all sided with her uncle. The physical evidence cannot be denied. I feel more sorry for the guy than anything. Not saying he isn't sick in the head, but it makes you wonder what happened to him as a child to do things like that. He molested 12 other boys but I am not sure if he did any time or anyone charged him for the abuses he did to the others.

    What starts a lot of this abuse to take place in the first place is that the pedophiles can tell when a child is neglected, or needing someone that will spend time with them. (Usually because of lack of quality time from parents or single parent situation like mine) This is how many of them do it. They gain the trust of a child and just be their friend all the while thinking of the eventual goal. My situation was the fact my father was never around and always working. then, my parents separated. While my mother was trying to deal with the separation, she also wanted some kind of male influence for me since my father never did anything with me. She probably harbors some of the blame for what happened ,but it wasn't her fault, just lack of knowledge of her uncle. Just because they are a family member doesn't make them immune from being human or "damaged".

    Then there's the "secret" thing. They say you better not tell anyone, because it's our secret, or I'll hurt so-and-so if you tell. Some testimonies I have read about fathers that have done this to their daughters, will tell the one she better not tell, or he'll do the same to her sister. In the story I am referring to, he already was. He was just saying it so the secret would be kept. A fear as well. I didn't tell my mother anything for 2 or 3 years. Even then it was by accident. The child is always the one to feel like the dirty one or the one that did the wrong. We need to tell our children that no matter what, they won't be in trouble or that it is their fault. It is the adult's doing the crime that is in the wrong. But being one that went through it, I just know what I felt.

    What is even sicker in the majority of some cases I have read is the wife or mother of the children being abused by their husband/boyfriend. Some of them KNOW it is going on. But yet, they still stay with the spouse and let the abuse continue. Does this not show that they have seen this kind of situation in her childhood? My wife has seen this firsthand. The woman in question knew her husband was doing things, as she walked in on some "suspicious" things, but she never questioned anything, and she still stayed with him.

    Denial is one of man's undoing. Repressed anger and emotions added with denial add up to down the road problems. They are linking those to alzheimers, although I see it as a chemical exposure as well. Mercury can cause both of those and we still see it used in the medical and dentistry fields.

    I have a couple of things I can recommend. I have a couple of books and a website link to anyone who has been sexually abused. Each of us has baggage that we bring along with us in life. We just need to learn of how to dispose of it. Let go of it once and for all. Emotions are tied to eating as well. A lot of people turn to food for comfort and we are seeing the results of that in America where we lead the world in obesity. Anyway, enough jabbering;

    "Belonging- Overcoming rejection and discovering the freedom of acceptance."
    By Nancy and Ron Rockey with Kay Kuzma
    website link
    www.itsfixable.com (currently under construction)

    Specifically for victims of sexual abuse:
    "The Wounded Hear - Hope for adult victims of childhood sexual abuse"
    Dr.Dan B.Allender

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2005


    I see where Kansas and Indiana state Atty. General offices are investigating.

    Good. If the investigations 'pan out' then those who flaunt the law will get what is coming to them. If, on the other hand, they are cleared I wonder if that will get the same measure of publicity?


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