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  1. #1
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    Aug 2005
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    Please tell me if this is "right"

    Ok, folks, here's an actual incident/situation from the world of MLM that has me a bit puzzled and hurt. I have a friend working the MLM business (company shall remain nameless). I had not heard from him in some time. I recently contacted this guy's upline on another subject, and was told by him (my friend's upline guy) that he (the upline guy) told my friend not to speak with me anymore or he would refuse to work with my friend. This because I am apparently "negative to the business."

    Now, I honestly did NOT mean to be negative to the business. I do wish my friend the best of luck, and I hope he makes a lot of money. I can't remember exactly what I could have said to have caused this, but I'm sure I simply encouraged him to think for himself and to not have absolute faith in what he was being told by his upline or by the company (advice I would give to ANYONE in ANY company, MLM or not). I might have also suggested that he put a deadline on his dream, which is also pretty good advice in ANY business venture.

    Also, I know this guy's family is also very negative to the business, and he has been encouraged by his upline to avoid THEM as well if they are going to talk negatively about the business (which they most certainly DO). I don't believe his family should be constantly beating on him about the business, which they may well be doing, but really, should you have to avoid your own parents?

    My question to you is, is this right? Should we really encourage people to not associate with family and friends because of the business? Isn't it likely that these people have our best interests at heart even if they do not happen to agree with what we are doing?

    I am really quite sickened that someone would have the balls to suggest to ANYONE that they avoid their own family and friends over a business -- ANY business. If this happened in the "real world", most people would have told their bosses to go eff themselves. Should we accept this sort of thing as a necessary evil of the MLM business? Or is it simply wrong? How should this have been handled?

    Just wanted to hear your thoughts on this one.

    P.S. I wrote my friend and apologized if I had been negative in any way and encouraged him to contact me with the promise that any conversation would have NOTHING to do with his business. It really isn't worth the loss of a friendship.

  2. #2
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Well, nickyhoy....you KNOW this is not right.
    IMO....
    1)The upline of your friend who started all of this bull, it seems is just wanting to keep his "people" (your friend) under his thumb so they will continue to work- work- work to bring in the $$ to their upline! It's called brainwashing....sort of like a cult.

    2)For your friend to even go along w/this uplines suggestion to avoid contact w/friends & family is YOUR FRIENDS fault.

    3)The letter you sent to him should have said, "Wake up idiot & think for yourself"!

    .........Anyway, I don't think most people are like your friends upline guy.
    I guess in any business you will have a few of them.

  3. #3
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by PAYEK
    .........Anyway, I don't think most people are like your friends upline guy.
    I guess in any business you will have a few of them.
    I know that in my training back in the day with ACN (and others), we were always told to "avoid the dream stealers". Now that I am on the outside looking in, it appears as though I have BECOME one of the so-called dream stealers. I guess I am just hurt by this whole thing, how anyone with a differing opinion is now someone to be scorned and avoided. I'll tell you, I really have no intention of discussing the business with him ever again. It just ain't worth it.

  4. #4
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by nickyhoy
    I know that in my training back in the day with ACN (and others), we were always told to "avoid the dream stealers". Now that I am on the outside looking in, it appears as though I have BECOME one of the so-called dream stealers. I guess I am just hurt by this whole thing, how anyone with a differing opinion is now someone to be scorned and avoided. I'll tell you, I really have no intention of discussing the business with him ever again. It just ain't worth it.
    LOL....I know what you're talking about.
    But, you have to remember & let your friend know....There is no such thing as a "dream stealer". lol..Only YOU can take YOUR DREAMS away from yourself.

    Maybe MLMers should teach their people to deal w/how to handle negative reactions from people, instead of avoiding people who live in reality. :rolleyes:

  5. #5
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by PAYEK
    LOL....I know what you're talking about.
    But, you have to remember & let your friend know....There is no such thing as a "dream stealer". lol..Only YOU can take YOUR DREAMS away from yourself.

    Maybe MLMers should teach their people to deal w/how to handle negative reactions from people, instead of avoiding people who live in reality. :rolleyes:
    When I was involved, I was SO bloody convinced that I was "right", that no one could tell me anything. And believe me, I STILL do have an open mind to the industry even after all that I went through with it. I just believe that it is not "for me," and that I could work at it for the next 20 years without success. My reasoning behind that is complex and personal. But I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from moving forward if they think it's right for them.

  6. #6
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by nickyhoy
    When I was involved, I was SO bloody convinced that I was "right", that no one could tell me anything. And believe me, I STILL do have an open mind to the industry even after all that I went through with it. I just believe that it is not "for me," and that I could work at it for the next 20 years without success. My reasoning behind that is complex and personal. But I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from moving forward if they think it's right for them.
    nickyhoy....Stop defending yourself! You are NOT wrong here. Stop feeling so guilty.
    Get rid of the "black cloud" that you have hanging over your head.

    Don't make too much out of this. Don't apologize repeatedly to your friend. You've already apologized too much to him in the letter. Let it go.
    ....Take your friend out to a football game or something, for a little "reality time" & don't bring this crap up to your friend again. If your friend brings it up, you tell him you are not discussing it.

    ....Anyway, that's just my opinion....what do I know.. :rolleyes:

  7. #7
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by PAYEK
    nickyhoy....Stop defending yourself! You are NOT wrong here. Stop feeling so guilty.
    Get rid of the "black cloud" that you have hanging over your head.

    Don't make too much out of this. Don't apologize repeatedly to your friend. You've already apologized too much to him in the letter. Let it go.
    ....Take your friend out to a football game or something, for a little "reality time" & don't bring this crap up to your friend again. If your friend brings it up, you tell him you are not discussing it.

    ....Anyway, that's just my opinion....what do I know.. :rolleyes:
    Can you see that "black cloud" from where you are?? ;) Thanks for the good thoughts. I will be fine.

  8. #8
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    The dream stealer cult like crap is wrong.I hope your
    friend is a friend.I bump in folks saying our mlm is the
    only mlm all others will go out of business.My opinion
    keep MLM on a business levEL,NOT A CULT LEVEL. cheers m2c

  9. #9
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by m2cglobal
    The dream stealer cult like crap is wrong.I hope your
    friend is a friend.I bump in folks saying our mlm is the
    only mlm all others will go out of business.My opinion
    keep MLM on a business levEL,NOT A CULT LEVEL. cheers m2c
    But why does that appear to be SO hard to do? MLM is the only business I've ever seen that has this problem/issue. And I think it does irreparable damage to the industry.

  10. #10
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    Oct 2005
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    4

    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    I guess I have a slightly different perspective. While I wouldn't agree with avoiding with people who are negative about the business, I actually CAN understand where the upline is coming from.

    If all you ever hear is.. that business is bad.. you will never succeed at that.. you will only fail and lose all your money.. some of those feelings and thoughts can't help but sink in. And it absolutely will suck up your motivation and drive.

    I think a better solution is for the person to politely but adamantly say, "I am going to do this. It is important to me, and I would hope that you can respect that. If you absolutely cannot respect that then I must insist that you keep your feelings to yourself."

  11. #11
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by wmark
    I guess I have a slightly different perspective. While I wouldn't agree with avoiding with people who are negative about the business, I actually CAN understand where the upline is coming from.

    If all you ever hear is.. that business is bad.. you will never succeed at that.. you will only fail and lose all your money.. some of those feelings and thoughts can't help but sink in. And it absolutely will suck up your motivation and drive.

    I think a better solution is for the person to politely but adamantly say, "I am going to do this. It is important to me, and I would hope that you can respect that. If you absolutely cannot respect that then I must insist that you keep your feelings to yourself."
    A fair opinion, and a reasonable suggestion about how to handle it.

  12. #12
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Its hard because some of the super stars train this crap. I dont see them getting out of this industry.My opinion they make the average day joe fail.I agree this kind of stuff damages this industry even more than pure money games with no intent of selling a product. .M2C

  13. #13
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by wmark
    I guess I have a slightly different perspective. While I wouldn't agree with avoiding with people who are negative about the business, I actually CAN understand where the upline is coming from.
    I don't agree w/the upline in this case, because he is telling his "people" this out of selfish reasons to benefit himself.
    You know, you don't make $....I don't make $.

    Quote Originally Posted by wmark
    If all you ever hear is.. that business is bad.. you will never succeed at that.. you will only fail and lose all your money.. some of those feelings and thoughts can't help but sink in. And it absolutely will suck up your motivation and drive.
    This is so true w/ALL aspects of life. We should keep "negative" people away from us if we're wanting to live a happy positive life.
    Negative people can bring you down....positive people can bring you up.
    I don't have too many negative friends, because I choose not to. ;)

    Where this situation is different, is in the fact that friends can have a positive influence in your life & also give you negative feedback on certain issues.
    ....like , oh I don't know....say an MLM: I'm sure that anything negative that was said from nickyhoy to his friend was probably said out of concern for his friend. Friends need to look out for each other. Nickhoy had a few bad experiences w/mlm & as a good friend, he was warning his friend of the possibilities.........(I don't really know, I'm just guessing here).
    No, that upline was out of line to tell his friend not to speak with nickyhoy anymore or he would refuse to work with him.

    Sounds like some stuff I heard back in the 1st grade. :D

    MLMs have changed a lot of people. Many people have lost friends over it.

    Quote Originally Posted by wmark
    I think a better solution is for the person to politely but adamantly say, "I am going to do this. It is important to me, and I would hope that you can respect that. If you absolutely cannot respect that then I must insist that you keep your feelings to yourself."
    Good advice. Again, it could be used in many different situations & should.

    (maybe nickyhoy's friend can tell that to his upline....when his upline finds out that they are speaking again. :eek: )

  14. #14
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by PAYEK
    I don't agree w/the upline in this case, because he is telling his "people" this out of selfish reasons to benefit himself.
    You know, you don't make $....I don't make $.
    To be honest and fair, my friend's upline is a good guy, and he may well be telling my friend to behave this way because he believes it would be best for him and his business. I've never know this guy to be particularly selfish...though I HAVE known him to be WRONG about certain things in the past. There's no crime in that, but it sure does prove him human.

  15. #15
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by nickyhoy
    To be honest and fair, my friend's upline is a good guy, and he may well be telling my friend to behave this way because he believes it would be best for him and his business. I've never know this guy to be particularly selfish...though I HAVE known him to be WRONG about certain things in the past. There's no crime in that, but it sure does prove him human.
    Well, I can't say you don't give people the benefit of the doubt. ;)

  16. #16
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    Re: Please tell me if this is "right"

    Quote Originally Posted by PAYEK
    Well, I can't say you don't give people the benefit of the doubt. ;)
    I try to look for the good in people until they prove there is none there. Sometimes I get burnt and hurt by this attitude, but that's the way I am built, I guess.

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