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  1. #1
    sojustask's Avatar
    sojustask is offline The Late, Great Lady Mod - Retired User Rank
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    My tribute to coffee.

    Farewell My Love

    It’s a bitter pill to swallow indeed when one is told that they must give up their only true love in the morning.

    No, I’m not talking about the sad sack in bed next to me but of the most wonderful, always satisfying, soothe the soul and revive the spirit, cup of real coffee.

    And since the dear doctor who prescribed such a heinous prescription would never, ever consider such a prescription for himself, coffee connoisseur that he is, though he too is plagued by the same malady that has brought me to this sad state of affairs, allow me a brief moment to see if I can accurately describe what it’s like to become bereft of one’s only true and sensuous love in the early mornings.

    First the cruel verdict. “Cut out coffee.”

    A crushing blow to one’s psyche to be sure and a verdict that, of course, one had to try to get around with a plea bargain.

    “But doc, I drink decaf. Isn’t caffeine supposed to be the culprit?”

    The verdict? Decaf MAY still have some kind of ingredient in it that I can’t have. That’s asking a lot of a person simply on a “Maybe” but I’ll be a good patient and cut out the coffee.

    Pardon me for a moment while I shed a few tears and pay my respects to this departed love of mine.


    Okay, (blows nose), I think I can go on now.

    Faced with the possible devastation of my morning routine and knowing that tea is not going to be a worthy substitute and juice is just too fruity to face at 5:00 AM, I come to the conclusion that I must look for a “coffee” substitute. Off to the local “Health Food” store.

    Upon perusing the shelves I come across one which is at least a promising description of how I remember coffee. “Lush, Dense Body, Dark Roast”. That is almost orgasmic in it’s promises, but can it live up to them? I decide to give it a try. So armed with determination and full of hope I make my purchase and exit the store to return to hearth and home with my new found friend.

    I can hardly wait until morning.

    So what are the ingredients of this hope of salvation? Let’s see……..hmmmm. Organic carob. Carob’s good. Organic barley, organic chicory, organic ramon nuts, (not sure what those are but “ramon” could be “Raymond” pronounced “ra-mound” with rolling of the r’s and so we’ll pretend they belong to a Latin lover and move on.

    Where was I? Ah yes! Ingredients. Natural chocolate flavor, organic cocoa, organic chile flakes.

    OK, so there you have it. What’s in an ingredient anyway? Just a bunch of technical stuff only a doctor should concern himself with. What else can we find out about this brew that promises so much?

    Thirty calories per 10 oz serving. 30 calories! This godlike brew promises to not be so waist friendly, apparently Ramound likes padding on his girls. What else? 20mg of sodium, 80mg Potassium, 7grams of carbs (hopefully the good kind), 650mg of Inulin:

    (Inulin is a carbohydrate belonging to a class of compounds known as fructans and is closely related to fructo-oligosaccharides (FOS). Although they aren’t the same, you will often find them used interchangeably. These are all starches (carbohydrates), just varying in structure. Since inulin is not absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract, it is considered to be a fiber. It is a soluble fiber as opposed to cellulose which is insoluble. Inulin/FOS also goes by names such as Neosugar, Alant Starch, Atlanta Starch, Alantin, Dahlin, Helenin, and Diabetic Sugar. It also has a slightly sweet taste and is very low on the glycemic index making it suitable for diabetics. There are even some claims it can be used as a sugar substitute.)

    I think I’m safe there. 2 percent calcium and 2 percent iron.

    Apparently we are going to have to make a few dietary changes to partake of this brew but if it really delivers on it’s promise of “Lush, Dense Body” it will be worth it.

    We prepare the coffee maker, carefully cleaning out any trace of our old friend from it’s interior. Fill the tank with our filtered water, put the gold permanent filter in place and open the bag. My mouth is already watering in anticipation. Half the joy of coffee is the aroma. I put my nose above the bag and breath in, and quickly back away trying to rid my senses of this obnoxious odor. What was I thinking? With great trepidation I return to the bag and quickly scoop out the recommended amount into the coffee basket, seal the bag and put it in cold storage. Not sure why I feel I need to preserve that obnoxious smell but old habits die hard.

    I’ve decided not to judge the substitute by it’s aroma, grimly determined that I will enjoy this even if it kills me. (Which it’s looking like it might.)

    I retire to "La Chambre" to sleep dreamlessly until awakened gently by the morning alarm.

    No such luck.

    At 4:00 this morning I awaken to a call of nature. Apparently my body clock is still on daylight savings time. After answering the call and trying to go back to dreamland, I finally give it up 20 minutes later, take my morning temp, 96.5, and crawl back out of bed. As I stumble back through a dark house, hoping that no one left any surprises in my way to break my toes on, I’m struck with the realization that my sanctuary is not filled with the aroma of coffee brewing. Of course it wouldn’t be, I’m only an hour ahead of the automatic timer but somehow this does not blunt my disappointment. So I quietly trounce into the kitchen and press the brew button. If I must be up and awake, I WANT coffee. Back into my office to awaken my friend the computer, go ahead and take all these morning supplements and pills that are supposed to improve the quality of my life by making me healthier (that’s debatable these days) and await my pot of brew.

    Ten minutes later, having recovered my good humor, I excitedly reenter the kitchen to pour my first cup of the day. Will Ramound come through despite his obnoxious odor of the night before. Will my new Latin Love be able to fill the shoes my old love left behind? I prepare the first cup, remembering not to savor the aroma as there is no aroma worth savoring, why set myself up for disappointment?

    I take my first taste and……………………………………………..?


    It’s NOT coffee. Oh I can taste something burnt which must be Raymond’s (said disdainfully and no accent) nuts, and I do taste the cocoa and the carob, which is what saves this brew from total failure to deliver. Yes, it is a Dark Roast, it has Dense Body, but falls well short of “Lush”. Alas, my new lover has not kept his promises. (As most lovers don’t.) However I guess he can hang around in my cupboard and fill the pot until I can convince the doctor that there are many good benefits to allowing me the REAL thing, as dictated by the latest research on the subject* and that ultimately it will be better for my mental well being which in turn will affect my physical health in positive ways for him to allow me my morning coffee.

    That there is NO substitute for one’s true love. Life it just too short to live it unsatisfied.



    * http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food
    Last edited by sojustask; 11-04-2008 at 06:05 PM.

  2. #2

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by sojustask View Post
    Farewell My Love

    It’s a bitter pill to swallow indeed when one is told that they must give up their only true love in the morning.

    No, I’m not talking about the sad sack in bed next to me but of the most wonderful, always satisfying, soothe the soul and revive the spirit, cup of real coffee.

    And since the dear doctor who prescribed such a heiness prescription would never, ever consider such a prescription for himself, coffee connoisseur that he is, though he too is plagued by the same malady that has brought me to this sad state of affairs, allow me a brief moment to see if I can accurately describe what it’s like to become bereft of one’s only true and sensuous love in the early mornings.

    First the cruel verdict. “Cut out coffee.”

    A crushing blow to one’s psyche to be sure and a verdict that, of course, one had to try to get around with a plea bargain.

    “But doc, I drink decaf. Isn’t caffeine supposed to be the culprit?”

    The verdict? Decaf MAY still have some kind of ingredient in it that I can’t have. That’s asking a lot of a person simply on a “Maybe” but I’ll be a good patient and cut out the coffee.

    Pardon me for a moment while I shed a few tears and pay my respects to this departed love of mine.


    Okay, (blows nose), I think I can go on now.

    Faced with the possible devastation of my morning routine and knowing that tea is not going to be a worthy substitute and juice is just too fruity to face at 5:00 AM, I come to the conclusion that I must look for a “coffee” substitute. Off to the local “Health Food” store.

    Upon perusing the shelves I come across one which is at least a promising description of how I remember coffee. “Lush, Dense Body, Dark Roast”. That is almost orgasmic in it’s promises, but can it live up to them? I decide to give it a try. So armed with determination and full of hope I make my purchase and exit the store to return to hearth and home with my new found friend.

    I can hardly wait until morning.

    So what are the ingredients of this hope of salvation? Let’s see……..hmmmm. Organic carob. Carob’s good. Organic barley, organic chicory, organic ramon nuts, (not sure what those are but “ramon” could be “Raymond” pronounced “ra-mound” with rolling of the r’s and so we’ll pretend they belong to a Latin lover and move on.

    Where was I? Ah yes! Ingredients. Natural chocolate flavor, organic cocoa, organic chile flakes.

    OK, so there you have it. What’s in an ingredient anyway? Just a bunch of technical stuff only a doctor should concern himself with. What else can we find out about this brew that promises so much?

    Thirty calories per 10 oz serving. 30 calories! This godlike brew promises to not be so waist friendly, apparently Ramound likes padding on his girls. What else? 20mg of sodium, 80mg Potassium, 7grams of carbs (hopefully the good kind), 650mg of Inulin:

    (Inulin is a carbohydrate belonging to a class of compounds known as fructans and is closely related to fructo-oligosaccharides (FOS). Although they aren’t the same, you will often find them used interchangeably. These are all starches (carbohydrates), just varying in structure. Since inulin is not absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract, it is considered to be a fiber. It is a soluble fiber as opposed to cellulose which is insoluble. Inulin/FOS also goes by names such as Neosugar, Alant Starch, Atlanta Starch, Alantin, Dahlin, Helenin, and Diabetic Sugar. It also has a slightly sweet taste and is very low on the glycemic index making it suitable for diabetics. There are even some claims it can be used as a sugar substitute.)

    I think I’m safe there. 2 percent calcium and 2 percent iron.

    Apparently we are going to have to make a few dietary changes to partake of this brew but if it really delivers on it’s promise of “Lush, Dense Body” it will be worth it.

    We prepare the coffee maker, carefully cleaning out any trace of our old friend from it’s interior. Fill the tank with our filtered water, put the gold permanent filter in place and open the bag. My mouth is already watering in anticipation. Half the joy of coffee is the aroma. I put my nose above the bag and breath in, and quickly back away trying to rid my senses of this obnoxious odor. What was I thinking? With great trepidation I return to the bag and quickly scoop out the recommended amount into the coffee basket, seal the bag and put it in cold storage. Not sure why I feel I need to preserve that obnoxious smell but old habits die hard.

    I’ve decided not to judge the substitute by it’s aroma, grimly determined that I will enjoy this even if it kills me. (Which it’s looking like it might.)

    I retire to "La Chambre" to sleep dreamlessly until awakened gently by the morning alarm.

    No such luck.

    At 4:00 this morning I awaken to a call of nature. Apparently my body clock is still on daylight savings time. After answering the call and trying to go back to dreamland, I finally give it up 20 minutes later, take my morning temp, 96.5, and crawl back out of bed. As I stumble back through a dark house, hoping that no one left any surprises in my way to break my toes on, I’m struck with the realization that my sanctuary is not filled with the aroma of coffee brewing. Of course it wouldn’t be, I’m only an hour ahead of the automatic timer but somehow this does not blunt my disappointment. So I quietly trounce into the kitchen and press the brew button. If I must be up and awake, I WANT coffee. Back into my office to awaken my friend the computer, go ahead and take all these morning supplements and pills that are supposed to improve the quality of my life by making me healthier (that’s debatable these days) and await my pot of brew.

    Ten minutes later, having recovered my good humor, I excitedly reenter the kitchen to pour my first cup of the day. Will Ramound come through despite his obnoxious odor of the night before. Will my new Latin Love be able to fill the shoes my old love left behind? I prepare the first cup, remembering not to savor the aroma as there is no aroma worth savoring, why set myself up for disappointment?

    I take my first taste and……………………………………………..?


    It’s NOT coffee. Oh I can taste something burnt which must be Raymond’s (said disdainfully and no accent) nuts, and I do taste the cocoa and the carob, which is what saves this brew from total failure to deliver. Yes, it is a Dark Roast, it has Dense Body, but falls well short of “Lush”. Alas, my new lover has not kept his promises. (As most lovers don’t.) However I guess he can hang around in my cupboard and fill the pot until I can convince the doctor that there are many good benefits to allowing me the REAL thing, as dictated by the latest research on the subject* and that ultimately it will be better for my mental well being which in turn will affect my physical health in positive ways for him to allow me my morning coffee.

    That there is NO substitute for one’s true love. Life it just too short to live it unsatisfied.



    * http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food
    You do indeed have my sympathy LM . Even though I be a diabetic with high blood pressure. I am able to keep them under control with my medcations. Hence I am allowed to partake of that most hearty and savory go-go juice as much as I want. For some reason it does not affect my sleep at all. There are just some things that cannot be replaced or done without. Like the smell of bacon frying and biscuits baking in the morning, mingled with the smell of that wonderful dark french roast I love. I prefer the fine grind as to allow more of the oil to be released and make a stronger flavor.

    I wish you well with your substitute (carob). I do not think that I would ever use it.

    So I lift my cup and offer a toast, Here's to you, and since you can't, I will drink it for you.

  3. #3
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    I drink coffee and teas alternately. Depending upon how I feel. Some mornings I drink neither.
    Had a thought: when we are younger we are adventorous and inquitive and so therefore indulge in and try out different things. I remember at about age eight - ten, I seriously wanted to try coffee as it was one of those things my parents indulged in and we weren't invited to do so. I cajoled them into giving me "my coffee" at the time; satisfaction was delicious! Some years later, in reflecting upon it I realized it was "coffe - milk". More milk and sugar than coffee. Nevertheless!
    Now, as we grown older, we find ourselves giving up things that we took on earlier and developing mild infirmities all the way to severe. I suppose that it is a early waning signal that we are gradually seperating from life. Whereas at one time we were taking it on.
    That's how life goes, obviously...
    Vasudeva

  4. #4
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Also, Hot Chocolate is a good alternative beverage, especially in the WInter.
    Anyone here have any good Cocoa recipes or brands?
    Vasudeva

  5. #5
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    Also, Hot Chocolate is a good alternative beverage, especially in the WInter.
    Anyone here have any good Cocoa recipes or brands?
    call/email martha stewart!?or jimmy stewart for that matter!?about the same chance of an answer!?here's my tip,any cocoa type powder and crisco......instant finger lickn good,not hot and cant spill!?:crazy1: : :judges: hehe!!.....just askn...
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

  6. #6

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexx View Post
    call/email martha stewart!?or jimmy stewart for that matter!?about the same chance of an answer!?here's my tip,any cocoa type powder and crisco......instant finger lickn good,not hot and cant spill!?:crazy1: : :judges: hehe!!.....just askn...
    Hersheys cocoa powder, baby marshmellos and a couple of drops of either mint or cinnamon flavoring.

  7. #7
    kathaj's Avatar
    kathaj is offline Just to the edge ,never over it. User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    cup of milk
    Tbs, cocoa powder
    2tsp, sugar
    couple drips vanilla
    and to marshmellows
    for fun and flavor
    take 1st 4 ingredients
    heat to almost boiling to
    melt cocoa and sugar
    pour into cup add
    marshmellows
    the rest is history


    for coffee in cold weather irish cream
    not the powder flavered creamer but the stuff that you have to be over 21 to buy:
    www.LetsSayThanks.com
    Click this link to say THANKS to our USA Troops around the WORLD.



    I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. ~Charles C. Finn

  8. #8

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by kathaj View Post
    cup of milk
    Tbs, cocoa powder
    2tsp, sugar
    couple drips vanilla
    and to marshmellows
    for fun and flavor
    take 1st 4 ingredients
    heat to almost boiling to
    melt cocoa and sugar
    pour into cup add
    marshmellows
    the rest is history


    for coffee in cold weather irish cream
    not the powder flavered creamer but the stuff that you have to be over 21 to buy:
    If it is cold enough, forget the coffee, just bring the irish.

  9. #9
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by kathaj View Post
    cup of milk
    Tbs, cocoa powder
    2tsp, sugar
    couple drips vanilla
    and to marshmellows
    for fun and flavor
    take 1st 4 ingredients
    heat to almost boiling to
    melt cocoa and sugar
    pour into cup add
    marshmellows
    the rest is history


    for coffee in cold weather irish cream
    not the powder flavered creamer but the stuff that you have to be over 21 to buy:
    Thanks - sounds good. Did you all get some of the heavy snow that they got in the Dakaotas? Looks like winter is here. Got up early this morning for the usual meditation and heard the "honkers" [geese] flying over. That is a really thrilling and ancient sound.
    WOndered how many of them will survive the winter here due to the hunters and live to fly back north in the spring?
    Vasudeva

  10. #10

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    Thanks - sounds good. Did you all get some of the heavy snow that they got in the Dakaotas? Looks like winter is here. Got up early this morning for the usual meditation and heard the "honkers" [geese] flying over. That is a really thrilling and ancient sound.
    WOndered how many of them will survive the winter here due to the hunters and live to fly back north in the spring?
    and a drop of mint

  11. #11
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    How about a shot of Canadian Club?
    Vasudeva

  12. #12

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    How about a shot of Canadian Club?
    Chivas Regal 12 year old scotch

  13. #13
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Timer View Post
    Chivas Regal 12 year old scotch
    Crown Royal would be fine as well!:freak3::rasta:
    Vasudeva

  14. #14

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    Crown Royal would be fine as well!:freak3::rasta:
    That it would

  15. #15

    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    Crown Royal would be fine as well!:freak3::rasta:
    served on ice

  16. #16
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: My tribute to coffee.

    Or Jeigermeister...:freak3:::rasta:
    Vasudeva

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