OLPH Church "thou shall not spit"
Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church
4588 Roblyn Ave,
Winnipeg, Manitoba

It seems that the "Sisters" Thelma and Louise are in trouble again
this time for spitting bubble gum
Thelma aka Maureen Fernandes and Louise aka Heather Ryczak
Louise as they call her because she works 7 days a week in the main hall
as a waitress during big dinner functions and weekend lunches ,
while Thelma is more the quiet type a house wife trying to make ends meet
by teaching religion to the little people.
It was actually Cristy the office assistant and part pizza delivery driver who calls
Heather aka Louise the loud one claiming heather to be the loudest of the sisters,
How loud is Louise? You can actually hear her singing in the main
entrance when she is serving parishioners down stairs, her infamous singing
is a good thing because parishioners tip her not to sing
Also before evening mass Cristy can be seen at the front doors passing out
free ear plugs because Louise sings every night fortunately for Cristy that Louise
doesn't know about the ear plugs.
On to "thou shall not spit"
The city of Winnipeg has recently passed a new bylaw in 2013 with a $1,000 fine and or
6 months imprisonment for spitting, and it seems that Heather who frequently loves to
chew bubble gum and spits her bubble gum anywhere and everywhere she pleases has
been caught red handed even after concerned parishioners put newspaper articles in her mail box to warn Heather of the new by law and the $1000 fine and 6 months imprisonment
It seems that the care taker Teo a short Portuguese with a Napoleon complex was tired of picking
up Heathers juicy fruits outside and removing bubble gum from the carpets and rumor has
it that Teo could have been the whistle blower for he was the only one with a motive
To help out her sister the quiet and timid Maureen has made a collection plate with Heathers
name on it which she will be passing around during evening mass, Monsignor has commented
that since sister Heather has been gone that there has been a big increase in attendance by at least
triple giving Monsignor the idea to have Heather lip singing rather than actually singing on her return
As for the collection plate it seems that Heather may not be getting out any time soon, for when the
parishioners found out the collection plate was to bail Heather out the collection plate has been coming back filled with pennies, but all is not lost for Maureen is having a bake sale to raise funds to get her sister Heather out with enough bail money by selling chocolate cup cakes at next Sundays outdoor garage sale, Maureen did state that she never has baked a day in her life but desperate times call for desperate measures.