+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 16 of 27

Thread: Suicide

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,015

    Suicide

    I haven't been here in a while and I honestly thought the site was down, but tonight I come to my old friends with a heavy heart. My father commited suicide almost two weeks ago. And frankly, I'm at a loss for how I should feel. We were tight. We haven't had bad times in a long time. Daddy quit drinking two months ago, but something in him snapped. He cranked his van up to go to work and within less than five minutes, changed his mind and went outside to his storage building and commited suicide. No note, and this wasn't like him at all. My mom was less than a minute behind him. Nobody told me, just called me at work and told me to come home immediately. I went to my mother's and saw the Crime Scene Unit and then was told. My son stayed over there several times a week while I worked, luckily he was not there. This is hard and I truly feel if he had thought it through, he wouldn't have done it. So basically that is it. I haven't really slept since, I've had nightmares, unrational fear of the dark, fear of seeing him, etc. I'm lost, my son keeps calling for his PaPa, my mother is heartbroken and we're picking up the peices. Any suggestions on somebody who's been through this. I looked up things on the internet last night and all of the sites were about teens or kids who were young at the time. I'm in my twenties. I know that stress got my daddy....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,098

    Re: Suicide

    Check out these links

    http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/forums.html

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...e+spirituality

    http://www.content-articles.com/arti...ght/Page1.html

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...David+Hawkins+

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...David+Hawkins+

    -------------------------------------------
    Don't take life personally

    And remember it's healthy to mourn and grieve!
    -------------------------------------------

    Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” – Matthew 5:4


    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...te&btnG=Search
    Last edited by Paladine; 12-30-2007 at 02:02 AM.
    The internet is the last light of truth and hope...it is truly of the people, by the people and for the people. We must not let it be subverted for any purpose other than the truth. And that truth shall spread to every man woman and child across the globe. No longer will those in power carry the sole means to decide for us, yet we now shall have the power to decide to tune them out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,015

    Re: Suicide

    I haven't had the time to read the articles, but it means more than words can say that you took the time to research and post them.

    May God bless...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Canton Michigan
    Posts
    1,086

    Re: Suicide

    Quote Originally Posted by Button View Post
    I haven't had the time to read the articles, but it means more than words can say that you took the time to research and post them.

    May God bless...
    Button, Iam so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine how you must feel. No matter how death comes it is a sting. My father died in July of this year, it still is painful.

    It breaks my heart to know how you must feel, I can only say, Iam sorry.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Fayetnam NC
    Posts
    1,193

    Re: Suicide

    Button, I am so sorry to hear that. I lost my Father in November of 99. But of natural causes. That is a hard thing to deal with on it's own without the circumstances you are having to deal with. I wish I had words that could help.

    I had a friend who committed suicide years ago. He was young, had a one year old and a girlfriend. They'd split up due to his drug use, but he was going through rehab counseling and had not done drugs in almost a year and his girlfriend was considering moving back in with him. Two days before he was to start a new job, a good job, he killed himself.

    I had a hard time mourning him, every time I thought about it I just got pissed at him for doing it. I still do at times. And for a long time I felt guilty for feeling that way. I finally settled it in my mind, that he made his choice and I needed to accept that. And there was nothing wrong with me being mad at him, it's a natural feeling. I still love him like a brother and always will. After I got over that guilt I finally mourned him and got on with my life.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that not knowing what to feel is ok, it's natural. So don't go kicking yourself for feeling how you feel about it, or for not knowing what you feel about it. And don't be afraid to find someone to talk to about it. Once I finally did, it help me get past the anger. Doesn't have to be a shrink, just someone who'll listen.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Newark, Delaware
    Posts
    3,278

    Re: Suicide

    Sorry to hear...I know its not easy....my parents lived 2 hours away. When I got the call to come down for my Dad....I didn't make it in time and never got to say goodbye....sometimes I still feel there is no closure because of that...I just wished I could have made it in time. The pain will ease and become bearable....trust me.
    I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7

    Re: Suicide

    Button,

    I am new here, but not new to life. This past summer a very close friend of mine did the same thing. I won't go into details, but I will relate how I dealt with it. I definitely experienced the gamut of emotions, from sadness through anger and back. I can only recommend that you try not to focus on the past and concentrate on today as well as tomorrow. Your mother and your son both need you more than ever. You do, however have to face this, and mourn and grieve yourself. This is part of the healing process. There are professionals much more qualified than I for you to speak to as well as the sites previously identified in this thread. I encourage you to explore these, and don't keep it all building up inside you, it will not be good for you, your son or your mom. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you are able to find some solace.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,505

    Re: Suicide

    Button I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

    I am sure your Father was a good man.

    I know this to be true because he raised you. And you are a good person.

    The old adage of time will heal is true. I lost my only brother the same way many years ago.

    Even though we only know each other through scam.com

    I have always thought of you as a good friend.

    Feel free to PM me any time.

    Your Friend, David
    Last edited by Dawud; 12-30-2007 at 07:44 PM.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    26,740

    Re: Suicide

    i think anger and suicide are related!?the inability(self permission)to fully express/feel/justify anger turns against you!?let's say you are a gentle/caring person,(trying to be!?)if you become exposed to threats/ideas/pressures that bring anger on that you have no experience with and you deny these feelings or condemn them they can overwhelm you and rather than possibly hurt others,you take the safe and decent way out!?to save others!?of course,this may explain why god is such an SOB!?he CANT commit suicide!?i'm tryin to remember how many times i actually considered suicide!?in think in my case it was a way to make others feel guilty!?to hurt them for ignoring/rejecting me!?what about the movie suicide scenes!?like in "casino royale" or "along came a spider" or eraser!?or "the fifth element" or "6 degrees of separation"!?just to recall a few i've seen recently!?THERE ARE SO MANY if you look closely!?i mean suicide certainly has many forms!?or are there only 2!?heroic or destructive (self/others!?)and is the heroic form even considered as suicide!?could the actions of the lead villain in "no country for old men" be considered the ultimate defense against suicidal thought!?i've only had 1 experience of a family member suicide!?a younger male cousin put a gun in his mouth after his family/wife took a firm stand against his wild and free loving behavior!?which included drugs drinking!?he was such a happy go lucky guy!?he called me 1 night and and just wanted to shoot the bull but i was too busy and blew him off!?i dont know the time frame in relation to his act!?but i sure felt it when i heard he had done it!?and at the funeral i was amazed to hear everyone trying to justify all the things they had neglected/refused to do!?that they felt may have saved his life!?in another thread someone asked if war was necessary/inevitable in a democracy!?could the same question be asked of suicidal tendencies!?what is my own conclusion as to why i might commit suicide!?i would say the feeling of helplessness/uselessness/unforgivable behavior/unbearable pain(physical/emotional) tops the list!?considering all those are shunned by modern society!?and possibly the #1 reason would be the knowledge that i did not become what i was capable of becoming because i threw away all the opportunities/help that were offered me!?this is no country/world for sensitive men!?:cry: :clown: :heart: :star: .....just askn....
    Last edited by lexx; 12-30-2007 at 09:53 PM.
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,015

    Re: Suicide

    Thanks to everyone who responded. It's sad that this type of situation has touched so many people in their own lives. It's not something most people talk about, but we all knew somebody who's done it. I just never thougth it would be my father. I'm going to go see a counselor. I figure it couldn't hurt. My primary care doctor says it's anxiety keeping me awake at night and a pill to sleep will only help temporarily. It's hard enough to grieve for the loss of a loved one, but when they die this way it leaves so much more to grieve for. I feel like I've been robbed of greiving for my father in the proper way because of the way he done it...which isn't fair. Dead is dead, no matter how it happened. We'll all wonder for the rest of our lives what we could have done to stop him, but judging by the impulsive way he done it, I don't know that any of us could have stopped him that day. I'm sure he had to thought about it before hand because of the way he had been acting, but in retrospect, they were signs of depression, not suicide and we all just though daddy would get through as he always has. But something that morning snapped in him and only he knows what. Today was the new year, a cold but pretty day, i can't help but think if he'd just waited, he'd seen that...

    But it is what it is and life goes on. My son keeps looking for him and calling his name which is sad. We just tell him that PaPa is in heaven with the angels. He'll be two this week and it hurts to think he'll never get to know him. Life is complicated and I know that daddy was carrying what felt like the weight of the world on his shoulders. Stress got daddy. Stress gets us all in it's own way, it's important to remember the good things in life, especially when the bad tries to crush us.

    Thank you again. I don't come here much anymore because I have a new job that doesn't afford me the free time my other did, I also don't get much down time at home these days. But I miss the conversations and the battles...

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,015

    Re: Suicide

    Quote Originally Posted by lexx View Post
    i think anger and suicide are related!?the inability(self permission)to fully express/feel/justify anger turns against you!?let's say you are a gentle/caring person,(trying to be!?)if you become exposed to threats/ideas/pressures that bring anger on that you have no experience with and you deny these feelings or condemn them they can overwhelm you and rather than possibly hurt others,you take the safe and decent way out!?to save others!?of course,this may explain why god is such an SOB!?he CANT commit suicide!?i'm tryin to remember how many times i actually considered suicide!?in think in my case it was a way to make others feel guilty!?to hurt them for ignoring/rejecting me!?what about the movie suicide scenes!?like in "casino royale" or "along came a spider" or eraser!?or "the fifth element" or "6 degrees of separation"!?just to recall a few i've seen recently!?THERE ARE SO MANY if you look closely!?i mean suicide certainly has many forms!?or are there only 2!?heroic or destructive (self/others!?)and is the heroic form even considered as suicide!?could the actions of the lead villain in "no country for old men" be considered the ultimate defense against suicidal thought!?i've only had 1 experience of a family member suicide!?a younger male cousin put a gun in his mouth after his family/wife took a firm stand against his wild and free loving behavior!?which included drugs drinking!?he was such a happy go lucky guy!?he called me 1 night and and just wanted to shoot the bull but i was too busy and blew him off!?i dont know the time frame in relation to his act!?but i sure felt it when i heard he had done it!?and at the funeral i was amazed to hear everyone trying to justify all the things they had neglected/refused to do!?that they felt may have saved his life!?in another thread someone asked if war was necessary/inevitable in a democracy!?could the same question be asked of suicidal tendencies!?what is my own conclusion as to why i might commit suicide!?i would say the feeling of helplessness/uselessness/unforgivable behavior/unbearable pain(physical/emotional) tops the list!?considering all those are shunned by modern society!?and possibly the #1 reason would be the knowledge that i did not become what i was capable of becoming because i threw away all the opportunities/help that were offered me!?this is no country/world for sensitive men!?:cry: :clown: :heart: :star: .....just askn....

    I think it's all called to us at some point. I've never seriously thought about doing it and definately wouldn't now because my family needs me. But it can be hyponitic the pull a gun can have. Just knowing you could end it all that quick if you chose to. I've known people that are now admitting to me that they have themselves been at the point where they thought serously about doing it, they say its a low bottom of the barrel point. I've also known people that have frequently threatened too, more as a cry for attention in my opinion. But as I recently found out, those most intent on doing it, don't want others to know and they are the ones that will carry it out if the whim hits them. My advice is this...never underestimate what a kind word or smile can do for somebody because even with the ones we love, we never truly know what is going through their head. If you know somebody is down, pick up the phone and say hello, or go out and have a beer with them. Who knows, it could be your smile that snaps them out of it.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    26,740

    Re: Suicide

    i almost hate to keep this going but you hit on something i heard from an old acquaintance not too long ago.things falling apart in his family and the only reason he keeps goin is cause his wife needs him!?and you mentioned quitting drinking.i also quit awhile back which explains my change in writing style as my mind is working differently not being intoxicated!?i can also recall many people i knew and some family members who quit their addictions of 1 sort or another and they died sooner than they expected!?and i just watched the movie "before the devil knows your dead",and i now know why i liked drinking!!!!it numbs the perceptions of realities in life that seem beyond belief!?a defense against seeing things you dont want to know or remember!?sobering up can be such an eye opening experience that the shocks can be overwhelming!?life is not a do it yourself endeavor!?yet we are all essentially alone!?it can be dangerous to actually decide to take responsibility for yourself!?society is a dead mass of robotic reactionary precedents/conformity!?no room for a "thelma and louise"!?:surprised: :cry: :drunk: : hehe!!......just askn.....
    Last edited by lexx; 01-03-2008 at 04:01 AM.
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Newark, Delaware
    Posts
    3,278

    Re: Suicide

    maybe that is why we love those type of movies....we can live dangerously through the script and action.
    I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    5,803

    Re: Suicide

    Button, my sincerest condolences for your loss. This is a belated response since I have been absent for some time. Words can never express sympathy adequately unfortunately.

    I hope it isn't too insensitive to ask if the police ruled out any possibility of foul play? I had a relative who was told their brother committed suicide but the evidence contradicted their assertion. Unfortunately, the other brother had the body cremated before anyone could conduct an autopsy. My relative suspects it was the ex-wife and her boyfriend who shot him.

    There is no easy way to deal with suicide and everyone grieves and heals differently. The main thing is to ensure you don't blame yourself or suggest you should/could have done things differently or saved him. Noone had any foreshadowing of this tragedy obviously and you'd only be mentally and emotionally torturing yourself.

    Suicide is a complicated issue. Very few of us know the 'demons' that rage inside an individuals mind on a daily basis. Sometimes the war in one's head escalates to the point where one seeks relief and death is appealing just to attain peace.

    Take whatever time you need to grieve Button. Let noone else put a time frame on it. And most of all, spend as much time with your son and mom as possible too. They will need extra love to get through this as well.

    Again, I am sorry for your loss. :1crysad:
    franKg - "Since God was ok with Moses, Joshua and David burning cities to the ground and killing all the civilians I think he would be ok with us splashing a little water on some terrorists."

    Dr poormouth - "Exackly;
    It's not "waterboarding", it's "extraordinary baptism""

    Quote Originally Posted by carlbenator
    As discussed in a previous thread, this IRRATIONAL HATRED for the Jews and their RIGHT to SURVIVE is one of the many PROOFS of a God, AND a Devil.

  15. #15
    sojustask's Avatar
    sojustask is offline The Late, Great Lady Mod - Retired User Rank
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    12,866

    Re: Suicide

    Button,

    My heartfelt condolences go out to you and your family. I have problems being able to post here so am rarely here anymore but AC sent me the link and knew I would want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family.

    I found this link: http://www.griefnet.org/support/sg2.html

    It's sad but it's also good that there is a specific forum you can go to discuss this with others who have and are going through the same thing. Perhaps it will be able to bring you some closure and peace to your heart.

    Your dad's drinking probably helped him escape the stress and when he stopped there was no escape for him and he did not know where to turn. Men are like that, they don't really turn to family for help. It's the culture we live in and the way we raise our boys. Always encourage your son to share his feelings but remember that men share differently than women.

    Unfortunately, we can't change the past, we can only learn from it and be wiser in the future. The questions may never go away, but you can forgive your dad for not reaching out and for leaving you. Forgiveness is a great healing force.

    I hope the board cooperates and lets me post this but if not I'm also sending it in PM with my email address if you feel the need to talk some more.

    Namaste'

    Lady Mod

  16. #16
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,467

    Re: Suicide

    Quote Originally Posted by Button View Post
    I haven't been here in a while and I honestly thought the site was down, but tonight I come to my old friends with a heavy heart. My father commited suicide almost two weeks ago. And frankly, I'm at a loss for how I should feel. We were tight. We haven't had bad times in a long time. Daddy quit drinking two months ago, but something in him snapped. He cranked his van up to go to work and within less than five minutes, changed his mind and went outside to his storage building and commited suicide. No note, and this wasn't like him at all. My mom was less than a minute behind him. Nobody told me, just called me at work and told me to come home immediately. I went to my mother's and saw the Crime Scene Unit and then was told. My son stayed over there several times a week while I worked, luckily he was not there. This is hard and I truly feel if he had thought it through, he wouldn't have done it. So basically that is it. I haven't really slept since, I've had nightmares, unrational fear of the dark, fear of seeing him, etc. I'm lost, my son keeps calling for his PaPa, my mother is heartbroken and we're picking up the peices. Any suggestions on somebody who's been through this. I looked up things on the internet last night and all of the sites were about teens or kids who were young at the time. I'm in my twenties. I know that stress got my daddy....
    My deepest condolences to you and your family Button. I have never had a family member commit suicide but one of my closest friends hung himself on Oct. 3rd, 2001 and it still bothers me because I still dont know why he did it and never will. But I cant even imagine how you are feeling with it being your father, I hope things get better for you and yours. Stay strong Button.
    Quote Originally Posted by gussser
    DC You post on so many different subjects that it hard to keep up with it all. Unconfuse me---ARE YOU JEWISH?????
    Take the Quiz! Are you left?Right? Middle?

    The Quiz!

Similar Threads

  1. Suicide Assholes
    By Queen in forum General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-09-2015, 06:43 AM
  2. GOP: Why Wait For Extinction When There's Suicide?
    By dchristie in forum Political Scams
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-28-2013, 07:38 PM
  3. California: No to Pot, yes to economic suicide
    By cirussell in forum Political Scams
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-03-2010, 09:18 AM
  4. suicide bombers
    By KishmeernTuches in forum Political Scams
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-15-2007, 06:09 AM
  5. Suicide of the West
    By mars3000 in forum Political Scams
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-23-2006, 06:45 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may edit your posts
  •