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Thread: Just Married

  1. #1
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    Just Married

    We have not one but two shocks for you today!

    Soulbro is a head without a body!

    He has married J. K. Rowland on the sly in a secret wedding!

    Yes folks, celebrations are under way today as the world digests two extraordinary twists in the life of J. K. Rowland, who rose from rags to riches to become one of the richest women alive today.


    It all began some years ago when Miss Rowland, or should I say Mrs Soulbro, published a copy of her novel Harry Potter and The Deathly Shadows. The front cover of the book showed Harry valiantly battling a demonic nonentity. The shocking picture of a bear's lion's face on the character of Harry set journalists racing to find out why this had happened.
    J.K. explained that she had had the artist render the lion's image onto Harry's body as she was besotted by lions. She also confessed that she had a thing for "headsex" and wished she was just a head.







    In an amazing twist of fate, Soulbro, a prolific poster at the famed Scams forum had a terrible secret. After smoking a lot of cannabis product, he had a tumour on his neck (commonly referred to in the old days as a neck lump) and had his body amputated from the neck down. He was placed into a nutrient enriched goldfish bowl and was plugged in to Salford University's mainframe computer, where he was left and forgotten about.
    It was from here that he created his warez, dreamed up many [conspiracy] theories and fantasised often about escaping from his predicament. When he saw the cover to Ms Rowland's novel he contacted her on the internet and supplied her with a photograph of himself.



    Ladies and germs, the rest is history. It was mutual love at first sight.




    Squandering great sums of money, Ms Rowland managed to transfer soulbros's head into a bejewelled mask which allowed him to travel anywhere, unaided except for being held up to talk to the couple's adoring public.



    Soulbro at the reception looking splendid next to his adored new wife.




    Apparently Soulbro has been giving his besotted wife head constantly since the marriage. The couple have become fascinated by pr0n and intend to produce the next movie themselves.
    The internet is the last light of truth and hope...it is truly of the people, by the people and for the people. We must not let it be subverted for any purpose other than the truth. And that truth shall spread to every man woman and child across the globe. No longer will those in power carry the sole means to decide for us, yet we now shall have the power to decide to tune them out.

  2. #2
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    Re: Just Married

    Apparently Soulbro has been giving his besotted wife head constantly since the marriage. The couple have become fascinated by pr0n and intend to produce the next movie themselves.
    The script for the eighth and last (til the ninth) movie has been completed by J.K. and eXPerience and shall feature pr0n in a Harry Potter movie for the first time. Here, two of the movie's stars rehearse. Wide Angle Lens, please. :)





    Apparently, Miss Watson, seen above, was reluctant to display her wares on screen for the whole world to see. She was heard to mutter "If you wanna see my gash then show me the cash."
    "She emerged from the meeting with the newlyweds a happy young lady," said one reporter. We are not sure why she suddenly changed her mind but await her pr0n debut eagerly.




    D Wiz, has also been given a small part after whining constantly to the producers. Though too hideous to appear on screen, he shall be required to 'service' any of the male actors when they are not feeling 'up' to the part. Apparently, he is thrilled to be involved in the production.




    Pucker up Wiz. :D


    He had previously written to Ms Rowland, enclosing his photograph and asking for her to pay for plastic surgery so that he could find a girlfriend but she declined and asked for the location of the nearest sickbag.

    Unlancer after the reception




    Spells To Be Used in the soulbro Harry Potter Movie


    Biggus Dickus - When Engorgio just isn't enough.
    Aloha-adios - For saying goodbye to Mexican-Hawaiian wizards.
    Amorus Mixalotus - Causes victim to like big butts and be unable to lie.
    Muffuletta - For making a nice olive sandwich.
    Fecamenti - Causes a stream of fecal matter to come from the end of the caster's wand.
    Resolvio Plottus - Instantly resolves any open plot issues.
    Aveda Conditionus - Gives the caster smooth and silky hair.
    Orgio - A jet of Astroglide shoots from the end of the caster's wand.
    Heterus - Makes the target gay.
    Vestimenta Removi - Takes off the target's clothes.
    Tetrahydrocannabis - When wizards want to get high. (useful in sending wiz back home to the moon)
    The internet is the last light of truth and hope...it is truly of the people, by the people and for the people. We must not let it be subverted for any purpose other than the truth. And that truth shall spread to every man woman and child across the globe. No longer will those in power carry the sole means to decide for us, yet we now shall have the power to decide to tune them out.

  3. #3
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    Re: Just Married

    Vestimenta Removi - Takes off the target's clothes.
    Seems to me it looks like this:



    :o :rolleyes: :D


    Please don't shoot the piano player, he's doing the best he can.

    Author’s emoticons KOLOBOK-Style

  4. #4
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: Just Married

    J.K Rowland is a truly remarkable woman with obvious literary talents. She didn't accomplish this by sitting on her behind at at computer and trying to defraud or otherwise mislead people in stay at home work schemes.
    Boris, I think the post you made of her manipulating Harry's errogenous zone will probably get slapped down by a moderator! :rolleyes: :eek:

  5. #5
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by Paladine
    Apparently Soulbro has been giving his besotted wife head constantly since the marriage. The couple have become fascinated by pr0n and intend to produce the next movie themselves.
    The script for the eighth and last (til the ninth) movie has been completed by J.K. and eXPerience and shall feature pr0n in a Harry Potter movie for the first time. Here, two of the movie's stars rehearse. Wide Angle Lens, please. :)





    Apparently, Miss Watson, seen above, was reluctant to display her wares on screen for the whole world to see. She was heard to mutter "If you wanna see my gash then show me the cash."
    "She emerged from the meeting with the newlyweds a happy young lady," said one reporter. We are not sure why she suddenly changed her mind but await her pr0n debut eagerly.




    D Wiz, has also been given a small part after whining constantly to the producers. Though too hideous to appear on screen, he shall be required to 'service' any of the male actors when they are not feeling 'up' to the part. Apparently, he is thrilled to be involved in the production.




    Pucker up Wiz. :D


    He had previously written to Ms Rowland, enclosing his photograph and asking for her to pay for plastic surgery so that he could find a girlfriend but she declined and asked for the location of the nearest sickbag.

    Unlancer after the reception




    Spells To Be Used in the soulbro Harry Potter Movie


    Biggus Dickus - When Engorgio just isn't enough.
    Aloha-adios - For saying goodbye to Mexican-Hawaiian wizards.
    Amorus Mixalotus - Causes victim to like big butts and be unable to lie.
    Muffuletta - For making a nice olive sandwich.
    Fecamenti - Causes a stream of fecal matter to come from the end of the caster's wand.
    Resolvio Plottus - Instantly resolves any open plot issues.
    Aveda Conditionus - Gives the caster smooth and silky hair.
    Orgio - A jet of Astroglide shoots from the end of the caster's wand.
    Heterus - Makes the target gay.
    Vestimenta Removi - Takes off the target's clothes.
    Tetrahydrocannabis - When wizards want to get high. (useful in sending wiz back home to the moon)
    irregardless of what is given here, I have pondered her manipulation and use of play on words. In a sense is rather mediocre and corny!
    Personally, I am not a Potter fan. I just have a rather vague and passing awareness of this "phenomonon". :rolleyes:
    Last edited by coontie; 08-06-2007 at 08:37 PM.

  6. #6
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie
    Boris, I think the post you made of her manipulating Harry's errogenous zone will probably get slapped down by a moderator! :rolleyes: :eek:
    I'm a small hooligan... :o :D


    Please don't shoot the piano player, he's doing the best he can.

    Author’s emoticons KOLOBOK-Style

  7. #7
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    Re: Just Married

    I must admit while I've not read the books, and was far from impressed with the movies, the author is impressive. It just goes to show you, combine a good bit of talent with a little knowledge of how to read and write, combined with little marketing strategy... one can rise to great wealth from very meager beginnings.

  8. #8
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by carolinahound
    I must admit while I've not read the books, and was far from impressed with the movies, the author is impressive. It just goes to show you, combine a good bit of talent with a little knowledge of how to read and write, combined with little marketing strategy... one can rise to great wealth from very meager beginnings.

    She sets a good example for others, among one of many!

  9. #9
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by BiR
    I'm a small hooligan... :o :D
    Watch out mods .... its a hooligan :D
    The internet is the last light of truth and hope...it is truly of the people, by the people and for the people. We must not let it be subverted for any purpose other than the truth. And that truth shall spread to every man woman and child across the globe. No longer will those in power carry the sole means to decide for us, yet we now shall have the power to decide to tune them out.

  10. #10
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: Just Married

    Hooligans IS as Hooligans do! :rolleyes: :p :D

  11. #11
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by Paladine
    Watch out mods .... its a hooligan :D
    I'll be better going home... :rolleyes: To get out of harm's way... :D


    Please don't shoot the piano player, he's doing the best he can.

    Author’s emoticons KOLOBOK-Style

  12. #12
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    Re: Just Married

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie
    Hooligans IS as Hooligans do! :rolleyes: :p :D
    :D


    Please don't shoot the piano player, he's doing the best he can.

    Author’s emoticons KOLOBOK-Style

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