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  1. #1
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    Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH.........


    There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

    1. He called everyone brother.

    2. He liked Gospel.

    3. He couldn't get a fair trial.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

    1. He went into His Father's business.

    2. He lived at home until he was 33.

    3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

    1. He talked with His hands.

    2. He had wine with His meals.

    3. He used olive oil.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

    1. He never cut His hair.

    2 He walked around barefoot all the time.

    3. He started a new religion.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American

    Indian:

    1. He was at peace with nature.

    2. He ate a lot of fish.

    3. He talked about the Great Spirit.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

    1. He loved large gatherings that served alcohol.

    2. He was always telling stories.

    3. He loved green pastures.





    But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:

    1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.

    2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't

    get it.

    3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.




    AMEN

  2. #2
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Am Ann to that....

  3. #3
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    I agree cause I was made to be like He is and I am a man, so He and I are alike. A sense of humor and good man too.

  4. #4
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Good one lady mod.
    The terminally stupid and certifiably insane.

  5. #5
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    lol, thats a good one.
    Quote Originally Posted by gussser
    DC You post on so many different subjects that it hard to keep up with it all. Unconfuse me---ARE YOU JEWISH?????
    Take the Quiz! Are you left?Right? Middle?

    The Quiz!

  6. #6
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Jesus, Moses and a really old guy with a long beard are teeing of on the golf course. Moses hits his drive and it slices way off to the right and lands on top of a mountain. So off he goes to climb that mountain. Jesus hooks his drive and it lands in a water hazard so he begins his walk out onto the water. The old man hit's his drive which also lands in the water but a fish swallows his ball. Then a seagull comes down and grabs the fish and flies off toward the green. A bolt of lightning hits the seagull right in the belly and he coughs up the fish. The fish hits the green about two feet from the hole, vomits up the ball which rolls directly into the cup.

    Jesus hollers from the water hazard, "Nice shot dad."
    Last edited by bogie; 06-09-2007 at 03:26 AM.
    The terminally stupid and certifiably insane.

  7. #7
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Quote Originally Posted by bogie
    ........Jesus hollers from the water hazard, "Nice shot dad."
    Very funny bogie! Thanks for the laugh.
    what the heck is this crap?

  8. #8
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Quote Originally Posted by bogie
    Jesus, Moses and a really old guy with a long beard are teeing of on the golf course. Moses hits his drive and it slices way off to the right and lands on top of a mountain. So off he goes to climb that mountain. Jesus hooks his drive and it lands in a water hazard so he begins his walk out onto the water. The old man hit's his drive which also lands in the water but a fish swallows his ball. Then a seagull comes down and grabs the fish and flies off toward the green. A bolt of lightning hits the seagull right in the belly and he coughs up the fish. The fish hits the green about two feet from the hole, vomits up the ball which rolls directly into the cup.

    Jesus hollers from the water hazard, "Nice shot dad."

    lol, good joke and its about golf which is a plus. I wouldnt golf with Jesus, he'd be pulling crap like that all the time :D
    Quote Originally Posted by gussser
    DC You post on so many different subjects that it hard to keep up with it all. Unconfuse me---ARE YOU JEWISH?????
    Take the Quiz! Are you left?Right? Middle?

    The Quiz!

  9. #9
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

    The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.

    The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, also.

    The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

    As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

    Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

    Jesus walked toward the redneck, and the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawing disability!"


    .

  10. #10
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father, etc. He looks high and low but cannot find him.

    He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.

    He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.

    He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

    Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

    "Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

    "Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

    "Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus.

    "Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.


    .

  11. #11
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Jesus and Moses were strolling by the Red Sea, when Moses nudged Jesus and said, "Psst. Hey, Jesus, I've still got it."
    Moses turned towards the Red Sea and lifted his staff on high. The angels began to sing, the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted. Moses lowered his arms and, with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus.

    Jesus scoffed. "Moses, my boy," said the Messiah, "I have still got it." And with a flourish of his robes, Jesus stepped onto the waters of the Red Sea and began to stride across without so much as a ripple.

    But to Moses' amazement, halfway across the water, Jesus suddenly began to sink. He splashed into the water and began to choke and flounder as the waves tossed him around. Moses grumbled at Jesus' sillyness and parted the water once more. Moses helped Jesus back to shore, as the Saviour hacked up salt water.

    When they had finally reached shore, Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it, Lord. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet."



    .

  12. #12
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    lol, all 3 of them are funny. I espescially liked the first and last one. Holes in his feet, lololol.
    Quote Originally Posted by gussser
    DC You post on so many different subjects that it hard to keep up with it all. Unconfuse me---ARE YOU JEWISH?????
    Take the Quiz! Are you left?Right? Middle?

    The Quiz!

  13. #13
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    Feb 2005
    Posts
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Quote Originally Posted by luciano
    lol, all 3 of them are funny. I espescially liked the first and last one. Holes in his feet, lololol.
    I'm kind of partial to the Pinnochio joke. :D


    Lady Mod

  14. #14
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    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner.
    The family members bowed their heads in expectation.
    He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one.
    Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.
    Then he began to thank God for the food.
    He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes,
    even the Cool Whip.

    Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited.
    After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked,
    "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"



    .

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    12,866

    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Atheist Prayer-line

    They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now.

    You call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.



    .

  16. #16

    Re: Even God Enjoys A Good Laugh.........

    Quote Originally Posted by sojustask View Post
    EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH.........


    There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

    1. He called everyone brother.

    2. He liked Gospel.

    3. He couldn't get a fair trial.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

    1. He went into His Father's business.

    2. He lived at home until he was 33.

    3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

    1. He talked with His hands.

    2. He had wine with His meals.

    3. He used olive oil.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

    1. He never cut His hair.

    2 He walked around barefoot all the time.

    3. He started a new religion.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American

    Indian:

    1. He was at peace with nature.

    2. He ate a lot of fish.

    3. He talked about the Great Spirit.



    But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

    1. He loved large gatherings that served alcohol.

    2. He was always telling stories.

    3. He loved green pastures.





    But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:

    1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.

    2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't

    get it.

    3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.




    AMEN
    That's funny!
    "The mind bends and twists in order to deal with the horrors of life...
    ...sometimes the mind bends so much it snaps in two".

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