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  1. #593

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    I totally agree with the posting from Cigs 645 on George Carlins's Solution to save gasoline. George Carlin was not only a funny man, he was a smart man. He will be missed.
    :006:
    "The mind bends and twists in order to deal with the horrors of life...
    ...sometimes the mind bends so much it snaps in two".

  2. #594
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    23

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    some of his jokes were great, some of his comments were just smart, not necessarily funny but just made you think, he had a lot of time to think, you could tell, funny guy, will be missed.

  3. #595

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    hey,

    HAHAHA Thats pretty funny bro!
    Thanks, Justinhttp://140legithomejobs.com/

  4. #596
    Join Date
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    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    All summed up in 3 minutes...


  5. #597
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    Feb 2007
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    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by carolinahound View Post
    All summed up in 3 minutes...

    AMEN...He is right on...we need someone to take his place..we miss him...we miss him telling us like it really is!!!!
    I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

  6. #598
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    Feb 2007
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    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by carolinahound View Post
    All summed up in 3 minutes...

    AMEN...He is right on...we need someone to take his place..we miss him...we miss him telling us like it really is!!!!
    I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

  7. #599

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by peregrine View Post


    AMEN...He is right on...we need someone to take his place..we miss him...we miss him telling us like it really is!!!!
    Someone may follow him but he cannot be replaced.

  8. #600
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    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by peregrine View Post


    AMEN...He is right on...we need someone to take his place..we miss him...we miss him telling us like it really is!!!!
    I think maybe I'll make that my lot in life. I'm not much of a comic, but I can play blues song that tell everyone what miserble f**kers the "elect" to office. Or should I say pay to have placed in office.

    "I got the aint nobody worth voting for blues"
    "Ballots in the boot stole the election blues"
    "All we got is elephants and jackasses"


    There's got to be millions of songs just waiting to be wrote there.

  9. #601
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    2,193

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by peregrine View Post

    AMEN...He is right on...we need someone to take his place..we miss him...we miss him telling us like it really is!!!!
    George was someone I enjoyed and admired for many decades. I didn't always agree with everything he said, but a great deal of it, I really did. He was a genius and an original.

    The last few years I have also become a huge fan of Lewis Black. If you get to see some of his stand up performances on Comedy Central or HBO or get his cds or dvds, you will not be disappointed. I relate more to him I think because he points out the inane, the ridiculous and the asinine of both politcal parties and of life in general. Like Carlin he is intelligent and also a "thinking man's" comic as Carlin was. Poignant and hysterical....oh and very angry. lol

    What I like about both of them is that they didn't/don't give a crap about what anyone thinks of them. They did/do what they have because they have the passion and the motivation and the drive to do it. Turns out that many people love, enjoy and respect them. They speak the words, thoughts and feelings that many of us ponder and have but do not often get to express or share or find someone to commiserate with about them. That to me, is their real gift. They make you feel connected and for a bonus, they make you laugh and make you feel that they understand and that you are not the only one who "gets" it.

    A few statements to ponder...George Carlin

    1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

    3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

    5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

    6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

    7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

    8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?

    10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    11. Is there another word for synonym?

    12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    16. I've never been quarantined, but the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

    17. If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up the easy side?

    18. How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

    20. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    21. The future will soon be a thing of the past.

    22. If you live 80 years, at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.

    23. Am I the only one who noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?

    24. Guys don't seem to be called 'Lefty' anymore.

    25. The mayfly lives only one day. Sometimes it rains.

    26. No one can ever know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

    27. We're all screwed. It helps to remember that.

    28. I never eat Sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.

    29. Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?

    30. It isn't fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

    31. Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

    32. If you live to be a hundred, your lucky number goes up by one.

    33. I sincerely hope we're not human garbage drifting toward some cosmic sewer. But I think so.

    34. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot's hands.

    35. If you practice throwing the discus alone you have to go get it yourself.

    36. I almost don't feel the way I do.

    37. If people stand around in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.
    Last edited by put it out there baby; 03-05-2009 at 09:41 PM.

  10. #602
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Some of george carlin quotes

    1. Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
    2. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a ********** from Guatemala.”
    3. As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
    4. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
    5. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
    6. I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
    7. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
    8. If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.
    9. You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.
    10. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
    11. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
    12. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
    13. I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
    14. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
    15. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.

  11. #603
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    west central Florida
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    4

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by Leeguana View Post
    . . .

    "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
    ...........now that's a good one:yelcutelaughA:
    ...an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Ghandi

  12. #604
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    112

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Quote Originally Posted by sojustask View Post
    I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? " She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

    .
    :spin2::judges: :bah::rotz:Having been a regular at that information aisle..... I love this !!


    Last edited by MrSandman; 03-30-2010 at 06:00 AM.
    "Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved."

    -Tim Minchin



    I don't have the evidence to prove that God doesn't exist, but I so strongly suspect that he doesn't that I don't want to waste my time.

    -Isaac Asimov





  13. #605
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    5

    Re: George Carlin's thought for the day

    Personally, I've always been of a mind that if your looking for fruit flavor, if your genuinely interested in something that tastes like fruit, and you find yourself in the tea section, you're probably in the wrong aisle.

    My advise is, if it's fruit flavor your after, play it safe, go ahead and get some fruit. I have found in my experience that fruit almost always turns out to be a reliable source of fruit flavor.

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