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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Create your own conspiracy

    Conspiracy DIY
    Having inside knowledge, and being alone in knowing the truth, obviously makes you a very special person. It can give you a warm feeling that you alone know the truth. It is your right to feel warm and cosy, and intellectually superior to everybody else, a right granted to you by the 94th Amendment. The fact that you achieved very little in the way of qualifications is no fault of yours, and is not a reflection of your personal intelligence.

    However, you may just be setting out on your new conspiracy career, so here are some guidelines.

    1/ A priori
    When creating your new conspiracy theory, make sure you base it on a priori argument. That is, decide on your theory in advance without using any evidence at all. This is vital for two reasons. Firstly, if you attempt to use genuine evidence to build a conspiracy theory, your theory will collapse. Using evidence to construct a theory is the completely debunked “scientific method”. Secondly, having decided upon your theory in advance you will be able to discard any pseudo- evidence that disagrees with it and which may cause confusion.

    2/ Pseudo-evidence
    If you ever find any evidence that disagrees with your truth, whether it comes from eyewitnesses, forensic analysis, or whatever, you must ignore it, as it simply isn’t evidence – it is pseudo-evidence. Do not attempt to argue against it, just ignore it. Correctly focus on the one factor that supports you. For example, if one frame of a blurred video shows a missile (shaped like a plane) hitting a building, you can safely ignore the thousands of other photos and videos that purport to show a plane (shaped like a plane), as those frames just aren’t evidence.

    3/ Ignore difficult questions
    No matter how many times somebody asks you a question, you are not obliged to answer it. It s probably a trick question anyway. Just respond by repeating your theory. Once people have given up, you have won, which of course is the same as being right in the first place. If somebody tells you that they don’t want to discuss it further with you, this is because you have overwhelmed them with your logic and evidence.

    4/ Be gentle, show pity

    Any person supplying any evidence, or holding an opinion different from yours, is obviously part of the conspiracy that is trying to suppress the truth. This is self-evident – as you alone possess the truth, any body disagreeing with you must by definition be wrong. However, it is important to note that not all those who disagree with you are part of a cover-up. They may have been unwittingly messed with, for example, through mind-bending rays. There are countless millions of such people. Show these people some pity, it is not their fault. There is no need to explain why you yourself have been immune to such thought control.

    5/ Logical fallacies.
    Logical fallacies are vital to maintaining a conspiracy theory. In fact, a conspiracy theory that has no logical fallacies is destined to fail. Fallacies are a good thing. There are many types of fallacies available, Wikipedia has a good article on them.

    A few examples shows how to do it :
    All tigers are cats, therefore all cats are tigers.

    The above is obvious, but it can be rephrased as “all deliberately-demolished buildings fall slowly. Therefore a building falling slowly was deliberately demolished”. This succintly deals with other falsehoods like airplane impacts also causing a slow fall.

    It can also be used for other theories, eg

    “all flags in a breeze move. Therefore, if a flag moves, it is in a breeze”. This correctly refutes a flag on the Moon moving because it has just been unfurled on a spring in a vacuum.
    Other fallacies can be developed by correctly extrapolating from a fact, for example,
    “demolition crews use explosives to demolish buildings, not fire” can be extrapolated to “all destroyed buildings must have been destroyed by exposives, never by fire”, thereby correctly avoiding the thousands of buildings that are raised to the ground by fire. They weren’t, they were blown up, a classic example being the Library of Alexandria, blown up by Caesar’s missiles and thermite. Buildings don’t burn, which is why incendiaries were never used during World War 2.

    6/ Lack of evidence is evidence
    If there is no evidence contradicting your theory, this is proof that your theory is correct. For example, there is no evidence that shows that Jackie Kennedy did NOT shoot her husband, which proves that she did. And if any such evidence did come to light, it is part of a cover-up, which again proves she fired the fatal shot. Your point is proven either way.

    7/ Tangents

    In any discussion of your truth, you may wish to go off at a tangent, there is nothing wrong with this, it is a sign of free-thinking. For example, if you have a theory that bananas cure cancer, and somebody refutes it, it is quite legitimate to respond by discussing the connection between money and Egyptian pyramids. Your opponents will not understand your free-thinking and they may struggle to keep up with such tangential arguments. They will give up thus proving your theory is correct. Such a proving of your theory of course justifies your tangential method in the first place.

    8/ Ignore equations
    Equations, (whether used in physics, chemistry, or engineering) are nothing more than opinions. For example, H + O2 = H2O + energy, coupled with H2O + energy = H + O2. These are chemical opinions that fortunately have been proven wrong by entrepreneurs driving water-powered cars. The existence of such cars proves the chemical opinions were wrong in the first place.

    9/ Use evidence wherever possible
    Sometimes you will have to provide evidence to back up your truth. This is not difficult – such evidence can be found on YouTube and on blogs. The evidence is on the internet, therefore it is true. The internet is a highly reliable source of information, if the information was wrong it wouldn’t be on the internet in the first place. As you advance in your conspiracy career, you will be able to set up such blogs and videos yourself, and then refer doubters to them. In this way, you can control the evidence that supports your theory, as you are the one that has created such evidence, and can prevent false pseudo-evidence that may confuse others. By creating your own evidence, you are supporting the rich experience that is the internet. Its resources and bandwidth are unlimited so create as much material as you wish. If somebody demands to see evidence, send them to the internet – it is the most accurate and reliable medium ever created.

    10/ Evidence from opponents.
    Your opponents will do everything they can to detract from your argument. One of their techniques is to use links to internet sources. Do not fall for this – the internet is unreliable and cannot be trusted, and most evidence presented on the internet is manufactured. Try not to follow the links - that just wastes precious bandwidth and resources. If you do follow a link, report back that you didn’t see the point, or that it wasn’t relevant to what you were stating. It is not your job to study the evidence of others, as the burden of proof is not on you.

    11/ Scientific credentials
    Occasionally you may be challenged as to the exact nature of your credentials. It is easy to deal with this irksome request. You were educated at the University of Life, and everybody knows that by simply living, raising a family, and having a job, makes you more expert in any given field than some silly university professor. You have also researched the matter for many years by reading blogs and websites. Make sure to remind people that at school Einstein was regarded as stupid and he was eventually thrown out, so scientific credentials mean absolutely nothing.

    12/ Use Einstein
    Throughout his life Einstein made a number of comments concerning science. Use such comments if you can, after all, if you are in agreement with Einstein you can’t be wrong – Einstein was a top scientist who excelled at school and was awarded the highest scientific honours – nobody thought Einsten was a crank so you will be in good company.

    13/ Science doesn’t know everything
    Some might say this is the catchphrase of the crank. However, there is nothing wrong with being a crank - they thought Einstein was a crank. Science indeed does not know everything. Scientists themselves say so, which means that scientists can’t be trusted. It follows from this that if your theory is ever accused of being in contradiction to the laws of physics, say, you can just refute by saying that science doesn’t know everything. That’s true, it doesn’t, and because that’s true, it also shows your theory must be true.

    14/ Use scientists

    Scientists spend many years studying and investigating before they publish in peer-reviewed literature. You do not need to waste your time on this - you already know the truth so no need to investigate it. Instead, find a scientist who might possibly appear to be supporting your theory, and quote them. It may be exceptionally difficult to find such a scientist, but if you do, use the quote to maximum effect – if a scientist might be agreeing with you, that is marvellous proof, it shows you are fully supported by someone with scientific credentials, and scientific credentials are vital. If you can’t find such a scientist do not worry as this is because they have vested interests in opposing you, and anyway scientists can’t be trusted and science doesn’t know everything.

    15/ Burden of proof
    No matter the nature of your theory, the burden of proof rests on others. It is for others to prove you are wrong, it is not for you to prove you are right. The truth you possess is self-evident. Demand your opponents prove you wrong. If they supply pseudo-evidence, use the other methods here to correct them. Or point them to your own blog, where you have created the correct evidence. For example, if you want to argue that one blurred video frame shows a missile, demand that your opponents show images of planes. If they do (highly unlikely), simply point out that their images are fakes, because they must be. It’s simple, and avoids you wasting time on such trivial technicalities.

    16/ Open-minded
    Always show how open-minded you are and respectful of the opinions of others. Remember, you discovered your theory because you had a mind sufficiently open in order to allow your creative and lateral thinking to dominate, and you weren’t stuck in the mental straightjacket afflicting all other scientists and researchers. It is the close-minded who demand proof, evidence, and other debunked techniques before they accept anything. It is precisely because you are open-minded that you are able to maintain your beliefs with such certainty without being derailed by pseudo- evidence. You have the right that people respect you and your opinions - this does not mean you have to respect them or their opinions, as they are wrong and error is not deserving of respect

    17/ Improve science
    As it is a certainty that some will try to use science against you, it is often a good idea to improve the science yourself. There is nothing wrong with creating phrases like “inertial energised positronic plasma”, - as long as it means something to you that is all that matters. Ideally, derive your own laws using your own evidence, and then use those laws to predict your evidence, thus demonstrating logical consistency and that the law you have crafted is true.

    18/ Rely on convicts for support.
    If you want to provide evidence of others who support you (because, after all, it is the majority of opinion that proves a matter, not evidence), try to ensure that you use those who are either thoroughly discredited or have served time in prison for fraud. It may seem paradoxical to use such people, but there’s a good reason. These people are only discredited / imprisoned due to false evidence having been given against them by an oil company / NASA/ government agency (insert any organisation here who is scared of the truth getting out). The fact that these people have been victimised for their beliefs proves your theory is correct. Ignore the fact that the same authorities have failed to come afer you, they just haven’t got to you yet. Also ignore the fact that such convictions always appear to involve sums of money going missing / investors duped – these are just false charges levied by the authorities. It is especially important to ignore the fact that such convictions arise from a trial by jury - since when has the number of jurors voting been proof of anything ?

    19/ Majority proof
    Proof is clearly determined by the number of believers. A criminal trial is determined by the number of jurors voting a particular way, it is not determined by evidence. This is why trials demand a majority verdict. To this end it is sensible to use opinion polls that agree with you. Don’t use opinion polls that disagree with you, because they are flawed. Ask anybody if they trust the government, and most people will say no. This demonstrates beyond all doubt that the government is part of a conspiracy against your theory. The more people you can find who don’t trust the government, the more your theory is proven.

    20/ Contradictions
    It is inevitable that you will be accused of contradicting yourself. Rest assured, you haven’t. Contradictions are in the eye of the beholder, and are subjective. If you say A equals B, and later say A does not equal B, clearly it is a matter of context, that’s all. The contradiction is only an apparent contradiction, caused by the misunderstanding of others. You should ask questions like “what is truth ?”, thereby referring to the famous intellectual Pontius Pilate, and correctly point out that all understanding is subjective anyway and depends on one’s culture. Note also that A equals B also means A probably equals B, which also means A might equal B, which also means A might not equal B, which also means A does not equal B at all. This was proved by Heisenberg with certainty.

    21/ Proove your position has been suppressed.
    If there is a possibility that your theory could lead to an engineering breakthrough, or a cure for cancer, then of course some narrow-minded people would demand to see evidence of such a cure at work, or such engineering in use. Simply refer to the following truths :
    “X made it work but he was visited by a secret agency/oil company/NASA, and he was threatened / bought off / killed.”
    “my friend Diltev Ksilney has been doing it for years and scientists can’t explain it” (IMPORTANT : use a weird false name that can’t be found on Google in order to protect your friend)
    “my friend/uncle/postman met somebody who knew somebody who’s father/uncle/friend/greengrocer/knew somebody who worked in a secret agency/company/army unit/NASA and he said it’s all true”
    “company (insert name here) bought the patent and made the technology disappear”
    There is the tiniest possibility that these statements may be false, but the point is that it is for others to show they are false, not for you to show they are true.

    22 / Proof of success
    You may be asked why, if your theory concerning cancer cures, water-powered cars, etc, are so correct, why you aren’t a millionaire, or driving such a car. It is not for you to disclose your income to strangers, so don’t, it is your right. Your refusal to divulge such confidential information in no way detracts from your position. It may also be the case that you are currently in negotiations with investors, and obviously you need to keep this confidential.

    23/ Ostrich
    Anybody who disagrees with you is a sheep. Just send them a picture of an ostrich with its head in the sand. Ostriches putting their heads in the sand is an urban legend dating back to Pliny in the 1st century AD. By sending a picture of an ostrich you have made excellent use of irony by pretending that you yourself are a sheep believing an urban legend in order to accuse somebody else of being a sheep. Of course, some people send the ostrich picture without knowing it is an urban legend, but those people are idiots.

    24/ Facts
    There are many facts that are so self-evident and accepted that they have become legendary within the urban environment. Do not shy away from using these legendary facts. For example, if anybody challenges your science, just remind them that “they thought Einstein was a crank”. Your opponents might challenge this, but they have their heads in the sand like an ostrich.

    25 / Nazis

    As you alone possess the truth, anybody who disagrees with you is clearly a Nazi. For example, the Nazis were opposed to citizens owning guns, this proves that private gun ownership is a good thing. If your opponents mention anything that may possibly be in agreement with Stalin, Hitler, etc, that is your opportunity to cleverly expose your opponents as fascist right-wing Nazi left-wing Stalinists. You can prove your point by supplying links to websites, and remember, the more links you post, the more it proves you are right.

    26 / Challenge

    As the burden of proof does not rest with you, it is legitimate for you to challenge others to prove their position. If somebody disagrees with you and provides an alternative interpretation, it is up to them to prove it. You may therefore demand proof of their position. Do not accept as proof links to websites, articles on Wiki, blogs, or YouTube, as these are meaningless. Do not accept published scientific articles, or the opinions of so-called experts, as they are clearly wrong, or part of the cover-up. It simply does not matter how many such links your opponents post, as this does not prove anything and a position is not proven merely by the number of links. Once you have dismissed all the pseudo-evidence supplied by your opponents, they are left with nothing, and your theory is proven.

    Conclusion
    By following the methods and techniques outlined above, you should be able to rapidly develop and customise your own conspiracy theory. You will be able to dismiss any opponents, and correctly deal with any evidence they attempt to supply. You will know how to use the correct parts of the internet (which you have filtered first) to build and support your position. You can send pictures of ostriches and engage in as much personal abuse as you so desire, for others are unworthy and mindless and deserving of your contempt. You will at long last achieve a sense of satisfaction and well-being, by knowing that you are part of the select few that know the real truth, and that you are not a sheep. The mind-rays that have effected your opponents clearly failed when used on your brain. You will finally understand that your lack of educational qualifications does not come from awesome stupidity and ignorance, but rather from your free-thinking refusal to be straight-jacketed by the educational system. You will join a select group who scare the authorities so much that the authorities completely leave them alone, as they will you.
    Last edited by Administrator; 04-04-2012 at 11:24 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    2,232

    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Wonderful! :cwm2:

    These tactics are used every day on this forum...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Posts
    15,510

    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    :1crysad:This is my favorite post of the year! Hands down, clever, insightful, genius, awesome. I have read this 3 times and can't stop smiling. :


    Last edited by Administrator; 04-15-2012 at 03:22 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    93

    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    I don't normally read long posts, due to the fact conspiracy threads consists of the same words rephrased 100s of times
    ,but this is so true I had to read it.
    When your government officials no longer uphold the Constitution , before corporatism and corruption , itself isn't your government anymore.

    The political problems of today stem from politicans who belived they were smarter than our Constitution.

    " ...no crimes have men shown themselves so cold- bloodedly cruel as in punishing differences of belief. " - James Russell Lowell

  5. #5
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    Re: Create your own conspiracy


    conspiracy theory

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    3,826

    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    My favorite is the Titanic/Olympic switcharoo for insurance fraud.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,549

    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by gsoh2004 View Post
    Conspiracy DIY
    Having inside knowledge, and being alone in knowing the truth, obviously makes you a very special person. It can give you a warm feeling that you alone know the truth. It is your right to feel warm and cosy, and intellectually superior to everybody else, a right granted to you by the 94th Amendment. The fact that you achieved very little in the way of qualifications is no fault of yours, and is not a reflection of your personal intelligence.

    However, you may just be setting out on your new conspiracy career, so here are some guidelines.

    1/ A priori
    When creating your new conspiracy theory, make sure you base it on a priori argument. That is, decide on your theory in advance without using any evidence at all. This is vital for two reasons. Firstly, if you attempt to use genuine evidence to build a conspiracy theory, your theory will collapse. Using evidence to construct a theory is the completely debunked “scientific method”. Secondly, having decided upon your theory in advance you will be able to discard any pseudo- evidence that disagrees with it and which may cause confusion.

    2/ Pseudo-evidence
    If you ever find any evidence that disagrees with your truth, whether it comes from eyewitnesses, forensic analysis, or whatever, you must ignore it, as it simply isn’t evidence – it is pseudo-evidence. Do not attempt to argue against it, just ignore it. Correctly focus on the one factor that supports you. For example, if one frame of a blurred video shows a missile (shaped like a plane) hitting a building, you can safely ignore the thousands of other photos and videos that purport to show a plane (shaped like a plane), as those frames just aren’t evidence.

    3/ Ignore difficult questions
    No matter how many times somebody asks you a question, you are not obliged to answer it. It s probably a trick question anyway. Just respond by repeating your theory. Once people have given up, you have won, which of course is the same as being right in the first place. If somebody tells you that they don’t want to discuss it further with you, this is because you have overwhelmed them with your logic and evidence.

    4/ Be gentle, show pity
    Any person supplying any evidence, or holding an opinion different from yours, is obviously part of the conspiracy that is trying to suppress the truth. This is self-evident – as you alone possess the truth, any body disagreeing with you must by definition be wrong. However, it is important to note that not all those who disagree with you are part of a cover-up. They may have been unwittingly messed with, for example, through mind-bending rays. There are countless millions of such people. Show these people some pity, it is not their fault. There is no need to explain why you yourself have been immune to such thought control.

    5/ Logical fallacies.
    Logical fallacies are vital to maintaining a conspiracy theory. In fact, a conspiracy theory that has no logical fallacies is destined to fail. Fallacies are a good thing. There are many types of fallacies available, Wikipedia has a good article on them.

    A few examples shows how to do it :
    All tigers are cats, therefore all cats are tigers.

    The above is obvious, but it can be rephrased as “all deliberately-demolished buildings fall slowly. Therefore a building falling slowly was deliberately demolished”. This succintly deals with other falsehoods like airplane impacts also causing a slow fall.

    It can also be used for other theories, eg

    “all flags in a breeze move. Therefore, if a flag moves, it is in a breeze”. This correctly refutes a flag on the Moon moving because it has just been unfurled on a spring in a vacuum.
    Other fallacies can be developed by correctly extrapolating from a fact, for example,
    “demolition crews use explosives to demolish buildings, not fire” can be extrapolated to “all destroyed buildings must have been destroyed by exposives, never by fire”, thereby correctly avoiding the thousands of buildings that are raised to the ground by fire. They weren’t, they were blown up, a classic example being the Library of Alexandria, blown up by Caesar’s missiles and thermite. Buildings don’t burn, which is why incendiaries were never used during World War 2.

    6/ Lack of evidence is evidence
    If there is no evidence contradicting your theory, this is proof that your theory is correct. For example, there is no evidence that shows that Jackie Kennedy did NOT shoot her husband, which proves that she did. And if any such evidence did come to light, it is part of a cover-up, which again proves she fired the fatal shot. Your point is proven either way.

    7/ Tangents
    In any discussion of your truth, you may wish to go off at a tangent, there is nothing wrong with this, it is a sign of free-thinking. For example, if you have a theory that bananas cure cancer, and somebody refutes it, it is quite legitimate to respond by discussing the connection between money and Egyptian pyramids. Your opponents will not understand your free-thinking and they may struggle to keep up with such tangential arguments. They will give up thus proving your theory is correct. Such a proving of your theory of course justifies your tangential method in the first place.

    8/ Ignore equations
    Equations, (whether used in physics, chemistry, or engineering) are nothing more than opinions. For example, H + O2 = H2O + energy, coupled with H2O + energy = H + O2. These are chemical opinions that fortunately have been proven wrong by entrepreneurs driving water-powered cars. The existence of such cars proves the chemical opinions were wrong in the first place.

    9/ Use evidence wherever possible
    Sometimes you will have to provide evidence to back up your truth. This is not difficult – such evidence can be found on YouTube and on blogs. The evidence is on the internet, therefore it is true. The internet is a highly reliable source of information, if the information was wrong it wouldn’t be on the internet in the first place. As you advance in your conspiracy career, you will be able to set up such blogs and videos yourself, and then refer doubters to them. In this way, you can control the evidence that supports your theory, as you are the one that has created such evidence, and can prevent false pseudo-evidence that may confuse others. By creating your own evidence, you are supporting the rich experience that is the internet. Its resources and bandwidth are unlimited so create as much material as you wish. If somebody demands to see evidence, send them to the internet – it is the most accurate and reliable medium ever created.

    10/ Evidence from opponents.
    Your opponents will do everything they can to detract from your argument. One of their techniques is to use links to internet sources. Do not fall for this – the internet is unreliable and cannot be trusted, and most evidence presented on the internet is manufactured. Try not to follow the links - that just wastes precious bandwidth and resources. If you do follow a link, report back that you didn’t see the point, or that it wasn’t relevant to what you were stating. It is not your job to study the evidence of others, as the burden of proof is not on you.

    11/ Scientific credentials
    Occasionally you may be challenged as to the exact nature of your credentials. It is easy to deal with this irksome request. You were educated at the University of Life, and everybody knows that by simply living, raising a family, and having a job, makes you more expert in any given field than some silly university professor. You have also researched the matter for many years by reading blogs and websites. Make sure to remind people that at school Einstein was regarded as stupid and he was eventually thrown out, so scientific credentials mean absolutely nothing.

    12/ Use Einstein
    Throughout his life Einstein made a number of comments concerning science. Use such comments if you can, after all, if you are in agreement with Einstein you can’t be wrong – Einstein was a top scientist who excelled at school and was awarded the highest scientific honours – nobody thought Einsten was a crank so you will be in good company.

    13/ Science doesn’t know everything
    Some might say this is the catchphrase of the crank. However, there is nothing wrong with being a crank - they thought Einstein was a crank. Science indeed does not know everything. Scientists themselves say so, which means that scientists can’t be trusted. It follows from this that if your theory is ever accused of being in contradiction to the laws of physics, say, you can just refute by saying that science doesn’t know everything. That’s true, it doesn’t, and because that’s true, it also shows your theory must be true.

    14/ Use scientists
    Scientists spend many years studying and investigating before they publish in peer-reviewed literature. You do not need to waste your time on this - you already know the truth so no need to investigate it. Instead, find a scientist who might possibly appear to be supporting your theory, and quote them. It may be exceptionally difficult to find such a scientist, but if you do, use the quote to maximum effect – if a scientist might be agreeing with you, that is marvellous proof, it shows you are fully supported by someone with scientific credentials, and scientific credentials are vital. If you can’t find such a scientist do not worry as this is because they have vested interests in opposing you, and anyway scientists can’t be trusted and science doesn’t know everything.

    15/ Burden of proof
    No matter the nature of your theory, the burden of proof rests on others. It is for others to prove you are wrong, it is not for you to prove you are right. The truth you possess is self-evident. Demand your opponents prove you wrong. If they supply pseudo-evidence, use the other methods here to correct them. Or point them to your own blog, where you have created the correct evidence. For example, if you want to argue that one blurred video frame shows a missile, demand that your opponents show images of planes. If they do (highly unlikely), simply point out that their images are fakes, because they must be. It’s simple, and avoids you wasting time on such trivial technicalities.

    16/ Open-minded
    Always show how open-minded you are and respectful of the opinions of others. Remember, you discovered your theory because you had a mind sufficiently open in order to allow your creative and lateral thinking to dominate, and you weren’t stuck in the mental straightjacket afflicting all other scientists and researchers. It is the close-minded who demand proof, evidence, and other debunked techniques before they accept anything. It is precisely because you are open-minded that you are able to maintain your beliefs with such certainty without being derailed by pseudo- evidence. You have the right that people respect you and your opinions - this does not mean you have to respect them or their opinions, as they are wrong and error is not deserving of respect

    17/ Improve science
    As it is a certainty that some will try to use science against you, it is often a good idea to improve the science yourself. There is nothing wrong with creating phrases like “inertial energised positronic plasma”, - as long as it means something to you that is all that matters. Ideally, derive your own laws using your own evidence, and then use those laws to predict your evidence, thus demonstrating logical consistency and that the law you have crafted is true.

    18/ Rely on convicts for support.
    If you want to provide evidence of others who support you (because, after all, it is the majority of opinion that proves a matter, not evidence), try to ensure that you use those who are either thoroughly discredited or have served time in prison for fraud. It may seem paradoxical to use such people, but there’s a good reason. These people are only discredited / imprisoned due to false evidence having been given against them by an oil company / NASA/ government agency (insert any organisation here who is scared of the truth getting out). The fact that these people have been victimised for their beliefs proves your theory is correct. Ignore the fact that the same authorities have failed to come afer you, they just haven’t got to you yet. Also ignore the fact that such convictions always appear to involve sums of money going missing / investors duped – these are just false charges levied by the authorities. It is especially important to ignore the fact that such convictions arise from a trial by jury - since when has the number of jurors voting been proof of anything ?

    19/ Majority proof
    Proof is clearly determined by the number of believers. A criminal trial is determined by the number of jurors voting a particular way, it is not determined by evidence. This is why trials demand a majority verdict. To this end it is sensible to use opinion polls that agree with you. Don’t use opinion polls that disagree with you, because they are flawed. Ask anybody if they trust the government, and most people will say no. This demonstrates beyond all doubt that the government is part of a conspiracy against your theory. The more people you can find who don’t trust the government, the more your theory is proven.

    20/ Contradictions
    It is inevitable that you will be accused of contradicting yourself. Rest assured, you haven’t. Contradictions are in the eye of the beholder, and are subjective. If you say A equals B, and later say A does not equal B, clearly it is a matter of context, that’s all. The contradiction is only an apparent contradiction, caused by the misunderstanding of others. You should ask questions like “what is truth ?”, thereby referring to the famous intellectual Pontius Pilate, and correctly point out that all understanding is subjective anyway and depends on one’s culture. Note also that A equals B also means A probably equals B, which also means A might equal B, which also means A might not equal B, which also means A does not equal B at all. This was proved by Heisenberg with certainty.

    21/ Proove your position has been suppressed.
    If there is a possibility that your theory could lead to an engineering breakthrough, or a cure for cancer, then of course some narrow-minded people would demand to see evidence of such a cure at work, or such engineering in use. Simply refer to the following truths :
    “X made it work but he was visited by a secret agency/oil company/NASA, and he was threatened / bought off / killed.”
    “my friend Diltev Ksilney has been doing it for years and scientists can’t explain it” (IMPORTANT : use a weird false name that can’t be found on Google in order to protect your friend)
    “my friend/uncle/postman met somebody who knew somebody who’s father/uncle/friend/greengrocer/knew somebody who worked in a secret agency/company/army unit/NASA and he said it’s all true”
    “company (insert name here) bought the patent and made the technology disappear”
    There is the tiniest possibility that these statements may be false, but the point is that it is for others to show they are false, not for you to show they are true.

    22 / Proof of success
    You may be asked why, if your theory concerning cancer cures, water-powered cars, etc, are so correct, why you aren’t a millionaire, or driving such a car. It is not for you to disclose your income to strangers, so don’t, it is your right. Your refusal to divulge such confidential information in no way detracts from your position. It may also be the case that you are currently in negotiations with investors, and obviously you need to keep this confidential.

    23/ Ostrich
    Anybody who disagrees with you is a sheep. Just send them a picture of an ostrich with its head in the sand. Ostriches putting their heads in the sand is an urban legend dating back to Pliny in the 1st century AD. By sending a picture of an ostrich you have made excellent use of irony by pretending that you yourself are a sheep believing an urban legend in order to accuse somebody else of being a sheep. Of course, some people send the ostrich picture without knowing it is an urban legend, but those people are idiots.

    24/ Facts
    There are many facts that are so self-evident and accepted that they have become legendary within the urban environment. Do not shy away from using these legendary facts. For example, if anybody challenges your science, just remind them that “they thought Einstein was a crank”. Your opponents might challenge this, but they have their heads in the sand like an ostrich.

    25 / Nazis
    As you alone possess the truth, anybody who disagrees with you is clearly a Nazi. For example, the Nazis were opposed to citizens owning guns, this proves that private gun ownership is a good thing. If your opponents mention anything that may possibly be in agreement with Stalin, Hitler, etc, that is your opportunity to cleverly expose your opponents as fascist right-wing Nazi left-wing Stalinists. You can prove your point by supplying links to websites, and remember, the more links you post, the more it proves you are right.

    26 / Challenge
    As the burden of proof does not rest with you, it is legitimate for you to challenge others to prove their position. If somebody disagrees with you and provides an alternative interpretation, it is up to them to prove it. You may therefore demand proof of their position. Do not accept as proof links to websites, articles on Wiki, blogs, or YouTube, as these are meaningless. Do not accept published scientific articles, or the opinions of so-called experts, as they are clearly wrong, or part of the cover-up. It simply does not matter how many such links your opponents post, as this does not prove anything and a position is not proven merely by the number of links. Once you have dismissed all the pseudo-evidence supplied by your opponents, they are left with nothing, and your theory is proven.

    Conclusion
    By following the methods and techniques outlined above, you should be able to rapidly develop and customise your own conspiracy theory. You will be able to dismiss any opponents, and correctly deal with any evidence they attempt to supply. You will know how to use the correct parts of the internet (which you have filtered first) to build and support your position. You can send pictures of ostriches and engage in as much personal abuse as you so desire, for others are unworthy and mindless and deserving of your contempt. You will at long last achieve a sense of satisfaction and well-being, by knowing that you are part of the select few that know the real truth, and that you are not a sheep. The mind-rays that have effected your opponents clearly failed when used on your brain. You will finally understand that your lack of educational qualifications does not come from awesome stupidity and ignorance, but rather from your free-thinking refusal to be straight-jacketed by the educational system. You will join a select group who scare the authorities so much that the authorities completely leave them alone, as they will you.
    Absolute Genius!

    .

  8. #8
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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelderek View Post
    Wonderful! :cwm2:

    These tactics are used every day on this forum...
    Yes indeed.

    Only I see both sides arguing the same points. Conspiracy revealer's can say the same about conspiracy deniers on most of these points.

    I would rather call it human nature period. Both sides are equal in these traits.
    Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.:yelcutelaughA:

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by 1stein View Post
    Yes indeed.

    Only I see both sides arguing the same points. Conspiracy revealer's can say the same about conspiracy deniers on most of these points.

    I would rather call it human nature period. Both sides are equal in these traits.
    Or if you don't like your conspiracy questioned.

    1stein will attempt to have the post removed.

    BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


    Attachment 12745

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by Yawn... View Post
    Or if you don't like your conspiracy questioned.

    1stein will attempt to have the post removed.

    BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


    Attachment 12745
    Ouch. Owned.

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by Yawn... View Post
    Or if you don't like your conspiracy questioned.

    1stein will attempt to have the post removed.

    BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Yes but have you read the post? On other forums ridiculing a post is not considered constructive argument and therefore removed.

    It is strange to me that unlike most forums flamers and trolls are allowed to derail threads and talk all kinds of mumbo on this one.

    I see posts about things that go way off topic and I see people getting personal and acting like teenagers being allowed here. It is a new one to me.

    I also know that administrators are usually not privy to sharing information given by members. But I will have to re-read the rules and regulations on this site to see how far that is regulatory.

    No matter anyhow because by doing this you are showing others members that you don't have the integrity to keep posts confidential. Thats probably why they don't report the latest spam hanging about.
    Last edited by 1stein; 05-13-2012 at 08:59 AM.
    Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.:yelcutelaughA:

  12. 05-13-2012, 10:00 AM

    Reason
    useless

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by 1stein View Post
    Yes but have you read the post? On other forums ridiculing a post is not considered constructive argument and therefore removed.

    It is strange to me that unlike most forums flamers and trolls are allowed to derail threads and talk all kinds of mumbo on this one.

    I see posts about things that go way off topic and I see people getting personal and acting like teenagers being allowed here. It is a new one to me.

    I also know that administrators are usually not privy to sharing information given by members. But I will have to re-read the rules and regulations on this site to see how far that is regulatory.

    No matter anyhow because by doing this you are showing others members that you don't have the integrity to keep posts confidential. Thats probably why they don't report the latest spam hanging about.
    Integrity ? How is it confidential ? You posted that comment on MY reputation level.

    Attachment 12746

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by Yawn... View Post
    Integrity ? How is it confidential ? You posted that comment on MY reputation level.
    Once you consider the source it's understandable.

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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulM View Post
    Once you consider the source it's understandable.
    Indeed.... I thought it extremely amusing.

    Re the conspiracy wackos:

    My Iphone Douche Bag meter is picking up.....



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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by thistle View Post
    Ouch. Owned.
    Yup.

    I have been saving that post for awhile......

    Oh how fun it is when a knuckle head slams himself with his own words.

    That is what makes Scam.com so much fun.

  17. #16
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    Re: Create your own conspiracy

    Quote Originally Posted by 1stein View Post

    It is strange to me that unlike most forums flamers and trolls are allowed to derail threads and talk all kinds of mumbo on this one.
    All I need now is Eugene to complain about people talking too much "woo" and the irony in this thread will reach thermonucleur levels.

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