Poll: Is it a good idea to keep an ex as a friend?

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  1. #1
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    Dec 2006
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    Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    As it says on the tin.

    If you are married/in a serious relationship, would you (be honest), mind if your partner remained 'friends' with an ex that he or she was once very serious about?

    I will add my own thoughts later, however, that's it for now.

    YWFT
    Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future..

  2. #2

    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    I have ben in that situation and found it is strictly an individual thing. there are no set rules fo all. What works fo one will not work for another.

  3. #3
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    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Timer View Post
    I have ben in that situation and found it is strictly an individual thing. there are no set rules fo all. What works fo one will not work for another.
    Here's one for ya then, OT.

    For the sake of this, let us pretend that you are female, we had had a relationship, then we broke up.

    If I proceeded, over a period of years, to go out with other women BUT they all happened to be friends of your's, would you find that a little odd? I mean almost exclusively your friends and/or people you know well.

    What would that tell you about my psyche?
    Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future..

  4. #4
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    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    I didn't vote. you left out one senario...children. If you are divorced,you need to remain as friendly as possible so you can raise your children together. You can never entirely divorce your partner. After all you will need to co-operate with each other to accomplish this enormous task.
    I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. ~Emma Goldman

  5. #5
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    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by peregrine View Post
    I didn't vote. you left out one senario...children. If you are divorced,you need to remain as friendly as possible so you can raise your children together. You can never entirely divorce your partner. After all you will need to co-operate with each other to accomplish this enormous task.
    Okay.

    Sorry.

    Assume there are no children involved.

    Thanks
    Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future..

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    6,549

    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Peregrine beat me to the draw... I'm still friends with my ex even though our son is grown and has children of his own. We kept the relationship civil so we could deal with any issues that might crop up while he was growing up. We all get together at Christmas at his place every year... it makes him feel good.

    That said... my "yes" vote was meant to reflect that position.
    Moving along... a former girl-friend... I don't consider an "ex" with any sort of whatever status that might carry. They're just a former GF. If I run into one on the street I'll be civil & wish them well, but that's it... I'm not interested in being "friends" or playing "look what you let get away" games.



    .

  7. #7
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    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulM View Post
    If I run into one on the street I'll be civil & wish them well, but that's it... I'm not interested in being "friends" or playing "look what you let get away" games.
    .
    Personally, I think that is the best way to deal with it, Paul.

    Tell me, what would be your identikit/profiling of the sort of person that I described to OT, when I asked him..




    Here's one for ya then, OT.

    For the sake of this, let us pretend that you are female, we had had a relationship, then we broke up.

    If I proceeded, over a period of years, to go out with other women BUT they all happened to be friends of your's, would you find that a little odd? I mean almost exclusively your friends and/or people you know well.

    What would that tell you about my psyche?
    Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future..

  8. #8
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    Jul 2005
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    6,549

    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeah Well Fine Then View Post
    Personally, I think that is the best way to deal with it, Paul.

    Tell me, what would be your identikit/profiling of the sort of person that I described to OT, when I asked him..




    Here's one for ya then, OT.

    For the sake of this, let us pretend that you are female, we had had a relationship, then we broke up.

    If I proceeded, over a period of years, to go out with other women BUT they all happened to be friends of your's, would you find that a little odd? I mean almost exclusively your friends and/or people you know well.

    What would that tell you about my psyche?
    My first impression is to think you didn't want to break up in the first place... you want to remain "in contact". OR You just want to play games.


    .

  9. #9
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    Dec 2006
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    Re: Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex?

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulM View Post
    My first impression is to think you didn't want to break up in the first place... you want to remain "in contact". OR You just want to play games.


    .
    Or both?

    Mr M, I think you would be bang on the money, with that.
    Every Saint has a past, every sinner has a future..

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