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  1. #1

    Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year.

    Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year.

    Q: What is the infidelity?
    A: The infidelity is that you took something that was supposed to be mine, which is sexual or emotional intimacy, and you gave it to somebody else. I thought that we had a special relationship, and now you have contaminated it; it doesnít feel special any more, because you shared something that was very precious to us with someone else. There are gender differences. Men feel more betrayed by their wives having sex with someone else; women feel more betrayed by their husbands being emotionally involved with someone else. What really tears men apart is to visualize their partner being sexual with somebody else. Women certainly donít want their husbands having sex with somebody else, but if itís an impersonal one-night fling, they may be able to deal with that better than if their husband was involved in a long-term relationship sharing all kinds of loving ways with somebody else

    Q: And it is deeply traumatic.
    A: Itís terribleóunless you cheated on each other during your engagement, or you or your partner came from a family where everybody cheated on everybody, or you come from certain cultures where the women donít take it that much to heart, because thatís the way men are thought to be. The wounding results because óand Iíve heard this so many timesóI finally thought I met somebody I could trust.

    Q: It violates that hope or expectation that you can be who you really are with another person?
    A: Yes. Affairs really arenít about sex; theyíre about betrayal. Imagine if you were married to somebody very patriotic and then found out your partner is a Russian spy. Someone having a long-term affair is leading a double life. Then you find out all that was going on in your partnerís life that you knew nothing about: Gifts that were exchanged, poems and letters that were written, trips you thought were taken for a specific reason were actually taken to meet the affair partner. To find out about all the intrigue and deception that occurred while you were operating under a different assumption is totally shattering and disorienting. Thatís why people then have to get out their calendars and go back over the dates to put all the missing pieces together: when you were going to the drugstore that night and you said your car broke down and you didnít come home for three hours, what was really happening?

    Q: This is necessary?

    A: In order to heal. Because any time somebody suffers from a trauma, part of the recovery is telling the story. The tornado victim will go over and over the storyó"when the storm came I was in my roomÖ"ótrying to understand what happened, and how it happened. Didnít we see the black clouds? How come we didnít know?"

    Q: And so they repeat the story until it no longer creates an unmanageable level of arousal.

    A: Yes. In fact, sometimes people are more devastated if everything was wonderful before they found out. When a betrayed spouse who suspected something says, "I donít know if I can ever trust my partner again," it is reassuring is to tell them that they can trust their own instincts the next time they have those storm warnings. When things feel okay, they can trust that things are okay. But if somebody thought everything was wonderful, how would they ever know if it happened again? Itís frightening.

    IF STILL YOU FEEL YOU ARE UNABLE TO FIND ANYTHING OR SHY TO DO THE ABOVE, EMAIL US

    [link removed-please keep them in your signautre only--Thank you!]
    Last edited by Soapboxmom; 03-24-2009 at 07:30 AM.

  2. #2
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Gee, and I thought the economy was the topic of the year! If you can help me to remove the bicycle that is practically growing out of my dear hubby's bobo let me know.

    Soapboxmom

  3. #3
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    fidelity(=), allegiance , fealty , loyalty , devotion , piety mean faithfulness to something to which one is bound by pledge or duty. fidelity implies strict and continuing faithfulness to an obligation, trust, or duty . allegiance suggests an adherence like that of citizens to their country . fealty implies a fidelity acknowledged by the individual and as compelling as a sworn vow . loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray . devotion stresses zeal and service amounting to self-dedication . piety stresses fidelity to obligations regarded as natural and fundamental .

    seems we can find that if there is fidelity to obama's plans by all concerned things will turn out well in spite of it's seeming early imperfections? just a thought?:spin2:
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

  4. #4
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work... User Rank
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Quote Originally Posted by Soapboxmom View Post
    Gee, and I thought the economy was the topic of the year! If you can help me to remove the bicycle that is practically growing out of my dear hubby's bobo let me know.

    Soapboxmom
    what's a "Bobo"? Portion of the human anatomy or something on the car, or what?...:freak3:
    Vasudeva

  5. #5
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Quote Originally Posted by coontie View Post
    what's a "Bobo"? Portion of the human anatomy or something on the car, or what?...:freak3:
    My husband is a avid cyclist. We do sometimes wonder if we can get him and the bike seat surgically separated.

    Soapboxmom

  6. #6

    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Signs of Spousal infidelity

    Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicious, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible.

    Have you noticed a:

    - Sudden increase in time away from home
    - Decreased sexual interest with you
    - Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming
    - Cheating husband or wife is often ďunavailableĒ while at work
    - Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work or not wants to go alone
    - Cell phone calls from you are not returned in timely fashion
    - Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone
    - Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly
    - Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual
    - Mileage on car is high yet he / she reports only short distance errands
    - Clothes smell of perfume or cologne
    - Cheating spouse gets his / her laundry done independently
    - Unexplained payments on bank statements
    - Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability
    - Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration
    - Cheating spouse now has a phone card but never used one before
    - Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse
    - Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages
    - Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed
    - Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites
    - Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account
    - Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages

    Any yes answers to the above than you owe it to your family and yourself

    FIND OUT THE TRUTH
    w w w . h i r e h a c k e r . c o m

  7. #7
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    aha! a shameless self promotion! i watch that tv show of the same vein and it makes me sick! but as the 'kids ' say,that's a good thing?..."that was sick,man"! :cwm2:
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

  8. #8
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Its not only topic of the year but there are so many murders here in India, men thinking that their wife's have betrayed them they murder them.

  9. #9
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    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Quote Originally Posted by Sayeeda76 View Post
    Re: Infidelity appears to be the topic of the year

    Its not only topic of the year but there are so many murders here in India, men thinking that their wife's have betrayed them they murder them.
    is that legal over there!? :judges: :
    i do not endorse/recommend any advertising on scam.com associated with my name /posts or otherwise. thank you

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