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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Everywhere
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    Mentally Challenged

    Mentally Challenged

    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

    "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter.

    "You don't?" I replied.

    "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

    "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?

    "That's right."

    So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    ************************************************** *******

    The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code

    she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and

    I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today".

    She said "OK"

    and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....

    **********************************************

    A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

    ******************************************

    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.

    She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"

    "Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

    "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

    As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries it's a long walk."

    **********************************************

    Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"

    "Just use copier machine paper ," the secretary told her.

    With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

    ************************************************

    I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the manager what had happened.

    He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

    **************************************************

    I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

    ************************************************

    IDIOTS IN SERVICE

    This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00a.m.and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,

    the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"

    I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working.

    **********************************

    IDIOTS AT WORK

    I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.

    She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.

    So I signed the credit card in front of her.

    She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.

    As luck would have it, they matched!

    *******************************

    IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

    The reason too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

    *********************

    IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce.

    "He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

    **************************

    IDIOT SIGHTING #1

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

    To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

    He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    ***********************************

    IDIOT SIGHTING #2

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

    Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    ********************************

    IDIOT SIGHTING #3

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    *****************************************

    IDIOT SIGHTING #4

    When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

    "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"

    To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

  2. #2
    coontie is offline Vashudeva; Ferryman - doing the work...
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,392

    Re: Mentally Challenged

    Heyyyy... 6seven8: I don't know what you do for a living, but if you can
    keep this kind of stuff rolling you can upstage Leno, Letterman and such.

    I got a lot of REALLY good laughs out of this - helped to make my day! Thanks!

    Some of it leave one incredulous. Other stuff, like the Chicken Nugget
    Fiasco doesn't suprise me with what is being turned out of High School
    these days. Too bad you didn't ask for two and a half dozen and then
    eight more. She would have probably had smoke coming out of her ears
    and went into meltdown!

    Also, the 'Power Strip' genius. Patent it if she ever gets it to work! :D

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    27,212

    Re: Mentally Challenged

    678 who do you appreciate!?uh-huh!!,uh-huh!?hehe!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    947

    Re: Mentally Challenged

    Holy cow...I know these are true.
    Next time you go to McDonald's, ask them if they take Hawaiian money. It will bring the whole place to a halt.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    247

    Re: Mentally Challenged

    hahahahaha
    JESUS JUICE - Newest And Bestest Christ-Centered MLM Business Opportunity. If you really really really love Jesus and money PM me for info.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    27,212

    Re: Mentally Challenged

    actually.......i did NOT laugh at any of the examples posted.hehe!!call them a need to know refusal to comply!?even i dont know what that means!?i'm the LEXX and that's the point!?hehe!!take the nuggets example.why is it necessary for them to serve you by tranlating a term that is not on the menu!?in a world of increasing specialization and robotization of human labor.why should they be required to think when they are paid to serve like robots!?does that mean their personal life has no happiness!?if they can eat,poop,drive and afford a nice car,show up for work and follow the directives,know love and have offspring.......what's it to "YOU" if they dont "SEEM" equal!?!?hehe!!and how do we know you just didn't make all this up!?hehe!!and maybe they just dont like "you"!?hehe!!just askin.......

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